so ...
after he passed i was inspired to write something about
JOE FRAZIER
and how he helped to make ALI such a icon ... how they really didn't like each other ... and how they came to forgive each other and be at peace ...
but then i read
and then when i heard about the transition of emcee-actor-executive-father HEAVY D ... and i was again inspired to write
i was gonna tell my story about how i was 5ft 3 and he was 6ft (+?), and how he tried to holler at my (6ft) girlfriend the time.
see what happened was ... i went to the bathroom and he stepped to her. when i came out ... he was like ... "THAT'S your man?" then he introduced himself, dapped me up .... stepped back and was like "word ... i'm not mad."
but then ...i saw a blog from one of my dudes ... @stuckeywriter ... he's a real writer that just happens to also be a blogger ... everyone should follow him on twitter and check his blog ...
BEFORE I AM NO LONGER YOUNG, GIFTED & BLACK
but since everyone did all the writing i figured that i didn't need to write anything ...
so i'll just leave you with HEAVY D's last tweet ...
my homegirl @msavril2 just tweeted something from @FXRAVIN ...
"The strongest & most confident women want to share their vulnerabilities with their man. So handle them with care!”
in this moment i realize that i think people gravitate to me because they feel that i am sensitive to the many peoples vulnerabilities. i'm not threatening or judgmental (don't confuse that with me being a soft and/or not haveing an opinion!). that's a honor and at the same time a responsibility. now, as i think about it ... i felt fake ... see ...
although i am truly receptive/empathetic/sympathetic ... i don't think that i've been vulnerable. it's hard to explain ... and honestly ... true vulnerability isn't something that you can pullout on demand. so understand ... this isn't me being vulnerable ... its me talking myself through a process ...
i share what i'm comfortable with. sometimes i feel that i may share more than what others share, but my standards are not the same.
this is what comes to mind ...
if my well is 20 feet and others are 10 feet deep then going 7 feet under isn't as much a deal, right?
i think my work in the arts has given me a deeper well of empathy and understanding of feeling, emotions, experiences ... and people in general.
ok ... now this feels like i'm trying to be make myself vulnerable ... so i'm not gonna try to make it more than it is.
i'll get into the transitions of gil scott heron, ji jagga geronimo pratt & will "da real one" bell at a later time ... maybe. (i'll addd pics later ... i just need to get these thoughts out.)
let the people you care for know that they are special to you ... and those that share things w/ you that help make you day a little better ... and do it today ... tomorrow isn't promised
so ... i'm feeling a little proud because my peoples are doing good stuff ...
and ...
first ... i want to let my DC peoples know about this show that they should go check out ... not just because they are my peoples ... also because they present a great show ...
CrossRhodes ... W. Ellington Felton & Raheem Devaughn
(and you didn't hear it from me but ... there may be some special guest coming out to join the show!)
crossRhodes = my dudes w. ellington felton & raheem devaughn
U St. LIVE
featuring
the Cross Rhodes Reunion
featuring Raheem DeVaughn
and
W Ellington Felton
Incwell will also be performing!
Hosted by Alison Carney & D. Chase
ORDER TICKETS 2day @ http://crossrhodes.eventbrite.com/
DOORS OPEN @ 8PM
SHOW STARTS AT 9PM
EARLY BIRD TICKETS $25
ADVANCED TICKETS $20
(worth every dime!)
here's a taste of the fun ...
marcia jones
http://untitled1972.me/index.html
the jolly twins at the kennedy center ...
(you can't tell, but the twins are on the keys & drums)
6. i'm a balance of both positive and critical (... some say that means that i am mean w/ a smile)
7. i don't like too many people but i'm good with people and i make a point to be nice, respectful & a positive influence to nearly everyone i encounter (KUUMBA)
8. i support the term BLACK. i think african-american is not accurate for me & many others.
9. i was born NJ & will defend it passionately, but i'm not hanging out in trenton!
10. i lived in springfield, VA for a while before my family moved to durham, NC
11. i am pro-peace but not a pacifist ... and believe that violent revolution has a role in society
12. i was offered vocal scholarship to college but turned it down because i don't like to sing in public
13. i'm an actor
14. i don't like public speaking or being in front of a crowd of people, but when i'm in the situation i'm a great workshop presenter, teacher & speaker.
15. i love to work
16. i am superhuman
17. i don't have degree (if you know of a school that may accept me ... holler!)
18. i was vegetarian for 15+ years ... now i eat fish
19. i don't like to cook ... BUT ... i love to eat!
20. i love to be up early ... take a power nap(s) ... and be up late
21. i used to like to fight ... actually ... i still do ... i just do it differently
22. i would rather be truthful than spare your feelings (stop crying!)
23. my favorite sport is futbol/soccer ... my teams are manchester u ... ghana black stars and ... FC HARLEM
to find out more click the picture ...
24. weusi baraka, was given to me at birth by my parents, it means "black blessing" ... i have always been proud of it ... others had issue with it
25. i have 2 tattoos
26. i don't like to drive ... plus it's not good for the environment
27. when i get my big money ... i'll buy a few pieces of property, employ a driver and a cook
28. i can dance ... i know that some of you know this but many have never seen it happen ... they just hear about it
29. i don't take good care of myself because i tend to put other first
30. i have great genes ... my grandmother on my moms side is 96 and on my pops side my great-great grandmother lived to 106!
31. i used to host a reggae radio show in college. i liked when the DJ was late for the next segment because i could spin slow jams!
32. i like country & blugrass music ... great lyrics, storytelling and musicianship
33. 333 is my old pager code ... holler at me if you know about that!
34. i feel i'm oxymoronic because i have skill sets that conflict w/ my personality ... hence the worlds shortest giant & socialite misanthrope, most careful risk taker, etc, etc, etc ...
35. i can keep a secret really well ... some of us share some jewels! ;)
see ... for real i'm a regular dude ... with super powers ...
I really don't have anything to write about ... But i'm commited to write today ... So it's time to be creative ... And since i can't share the music in my head or sing this song to you ... here's a random poetic thought ...
...
The moon held the kind of secrets only life tells death the kind that scares hope, burdens fantasies and dews dreams before a day starts
The sun wandered in wonder ... yet stayed silent watched the tides ebb & flow saw the awkward shift in the sea ... in the morning he shifted to the other side That's when he knew she was scared
Time had tricked fire into pulling a heist But an onynx cloud spit on the idea ..
And sun prayed for the winds to whisper coltranes bassline to her ... and the she was soothed
And ... Oh ... I found this great quote from maya angelou ...
"Every human being at some point will have clouds in their life. Some darker that others. You can go through the cloud, you can go around the cloud, or above it. No matter what, the light is always there. Your to seek, and to find."
on top of feeling a little detached, a job search that's trying to break me, my want to give my nephew & my sister some attention ... i was thinking of a tiger blood transfusion ...
but then ...
i got tired of hearing all the talk of charlie sheen's winning, whining, tigerblood and warlocks. And at the same time ... I'm glad that he feels good about his self. I'm glad that he worked out a situation that he and both his girlfriends are happy with. sorry that the situation wasn't supported by your ex-wife. I found myself defending charlie sheen. Despite his manic tirades, I saw him as one of those victims and pawns of the media. It was kinda funny to me and it made sense to me when he said some things to the likes of “they're jealous that i'm a rock star and they aren't”, “i've been quiet for years. I come to work do my thing and i like my lifestyle. But now ... I will stop hiding that I love my life and my greatness, and instead I will tell the world how great I am and defend it and myself violently.'” come on ... how can you be mad at that? i'm not mad at that ... I want everyone to live fearlessly ... but ...ummmm .... well ... you aren't really that important. I don't want to see you on the news everyday.
SOOO ... I was relieved when I heard BIGGIE everywhere in honor of the anniversary of his passing
but because things seldom hold my attention for long ... and because I tend to be critical of things that I enjoy ... the thrill of hearing Biggie (what seemed like every third song on radio & video!) was short lived.
I started to think about how many people I'm cool with that could remember where they were when Biggie passed but ... don't remember the transitions of ron brown (4/3/96)
or betty shabazz (6/23/97) ...
or the release of nelson mandela (2/11/90)?
yes ... Biggie is one of the greatest at his art and his tragic story has become one of hope, change and positive evolution for many ... but for real ... he's just an entertainer.
While avoiding charlie sheen & biggie i started to look at some of the changes/struggles and freedom fights happening in the world right now. AS YOU READ THIS the rest of the world is changing/evolving/revolting ... Egypt, Liberia, Libya, Mozambique,Tunisia, Yemen and Zimbabwe ...
***sidenote:***
did you know that Belgium hasn't had a government for over 300 days! hmmm ... why aren't you hearing about that political instability?but you hear about it in northern africa!\ need proof? (thanks @aja_monet)
It reminded me how privileged I am to be in america. (i still have trouble calling myself an american ... that another blog). Then I actually started to feel “some kinda way” for not having a cause that I feel is worth, living and dying for. and then ... I realized how narcissistic that was ... these people are fighting for their lives and i'm whining about not having a life that's rough enough to make me uncomfortable to fight back.
... then ...
japan's earthquake reminded me of how fragile life is and how we are at the mercy of the universe and how time is the keeper of us all.
and this is where my mind rest and reflects ...
stay humble ...
thanks khalil (@negrotambor)
i'm off in search of a humble job ...
SHINE
OHHHH ... and i'll tell you about the beauty in watching a seed meet a oak tree next time!
Thursday, March 10, 2011
I'm a spiritual person.
I believe that I am a small part of something that is so vast and expansive that it is truly beyond the realm of a mortal's imagination.
my belief is that everything happens for a reason. the logic that schedules my moments and movements in this universe may or may not have anything to do with me. I am but a pawn in the grandest scheme of things ... yet ... this philosophy works in unison with the idea that we are smiliar to stars.
How? There are billions of stars out there in an infinite number of galaxies, yet to be discovered. .. but even within those glaxies there are some stars that SHINE brighter and are more relevant and influential to certain planets/rocks. Some stars are suns. Some stars become black holes, which in a way are inverted suns that instead of giving off light & heat energy, they absorb it. And yes, there are some stars that are bright and do nothing!
All that to say we are like stars in the sense that some people & stars are here for no apparent reason. And others are more influential and control planets, worlds & universes. Because of that some of us must take more responsibility for our actions/motions due to their influences on others.
I know which group i am in. I shine. And i say that witha humility that acknowledges that i am such a small part in this massive universe that i'm the equivalent to a hydrogen atom in the ocean.
(I used examples of the sun & water because i feel that theses are the most powerful yet under recognized influences on our planet.)
*note: this is just one of the many philosophies of mine ... no, I haven't done any research on it.
I've always been drawn to the power and beauty of the moon. A few months ago during the eclipse i truly felt a magical moment which i still have yet to understand. I do know that often times i get my creative insight & artistic impulses. I also know that i am most productive when i have the energy of women in my immediate area. when this is combined with the power of community and it's role in my life my "superdude" comes out and then i need help focusing on all my great ideas.
I think i'm mentioning this because ... well ... actually i don't know.
But i do feel like things are about to take off and i want you to know that when u have a clarity in your process and in your macro & micro role in the universe then you are in a position of power. The kind of power that allows you to make things happen as well as the kind of power that allows you to recognize & adjust to those things that are not in your hands.
For me this life is about maintaining balance and connecting my community resources/social capital, mental capacity, spritual well being,emotional & physical health.
This is what i'm trying to maintain as ritual in my life so that i can focus on more creative aspects of life.
That's all for now ...
I look forward to gsharing a few COMPLETED projects w/ you in the next 2 moths as i get a little more external sunshine in my life! (Thanks spring!)
the health issues of KOOL HERC (combined with the dismissal of the health care reform bill)
i believe that any radio station that claims to be a HIP-HOP stations should donate to assist with his health cost ... they have the money are going to continue to make money from hip-hop. the artist aren't really making money so i don't think that they should be the first ones called upon ... but ... it's not a million dollars! these cost can be covered in one fell swoop by the right person. (jay-z, diddy, jermaine dupree, russell simmons, andre harrell, etc)
but as a fan ... and believer that you should do what you can instead of waiting on others to do for you ... here is where you can donate ... http://www.djkoolherc.com/
the other thing is ... the beauty and madness of the changes in egypt ...
many of you know that i am a man of the people ... i get excited when u see the people step up and take control over a situation that they feel is unjust. so much so, that i get physically agitated.
power to the people!
and now ...
i'm trying to focus on this event that i've put together in LA ...
JUST BCUS & HEDRUSH PRODUCTION present ...
STARBLAZERS 2011
Part Party ... Part Jam Session good people ... having a good time ... while enjoying GREAT music
this is the most casual non-pretentious Grammy weekend event!
performances from artist from around the country ...
jenna andrews alison carney c. clear emoniFela the fanatic experience tamika jones the native criminals poet & the future russell taylor mr. turner j. white Yahzarah/purple saint james and 2011 grammy nominee CAROLYN MALACHI
+other SPECIAL GUEST *it's grammy weekend, So you know it's gonna be PLANTAINS* (that's like bananas but bigger!)
your DJ's 2 Tone Jones ... Munch ... Underdog spinning everything! coldplay to kid-n-play ... def leopard to mos def ... steel pulse to steely dan ... & more!
leave your ego at home and come kick it ... come enjoy the vibe ... JUST BCUS ... only $10 ...
and tell your friends about it ... but get your ticket early because the venue isn't that big!
i don't think i need to say much more about that ...
and for BLACK HISTORY MONTH ... 2 things ...
an old pic of my mom & pop ... they made black history by making ME!
what's funny is i'd never seen the the picture ... i just found this picture on friends facebook page! (thanks U!)
and ... don't tell rah but this is one of my daily motivators ...
yeah ... i love my people ...
oh and this is a little something new for the people ... here's some heat ...
JUST BCUS ...
yea ... i know ... some of those shots look kinda like my videos from the roof of my rock star cuz's place in paris last year ... ehhh ...
this is what i posted on christmas eve last year ... and i'm doing it again ... because ... JUST BCUS ...
now ... this time last year ...
i was in paris ... rock star cuz & lil cuzzo looked out lovely!
i remember not being able to sleep on dec 23 09 because on the 24th we were going to do one of the things that i really wanted to do while in paris ... go under the city ... go into the catacombs that even many parisians have never gone to. i was there ... with rock star cuz and a few new friends ...
i started this blog to help me talk out my thoughts and flesh out my ideas ...
this is the first time i've really looked back and read some of these blogs from last year ... my M.O. is usually to write fromthe heart and let go of it ... this allows me to write form a place of no regret or care for who's reading ... just speak my truth in the moment and move forward. after reading these things i think i need to systematically review my thoughts and ideas from my blogs. and write more often. (once a week!) i think that i said that before but i have some new support systems in place that will allow me to create more structure in my life again/refreshing my
for those of you that were following me last year ... i have been holding on to some of the rituals that i established for myself last year.
morning ritual stuff: take my time to get out of bed (control the day don't be controlled my the day ... take a moment to thank the universe, angels & ancestors, listen to my body & the universe for at least a minute) , wash face w/ cold water 4 times (representative of cleansing & refreshing myself mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally, be creative (tell a story out loud, sing a song, freestyle, start a creative idea ... this usually happens in the shower!)
this is me on the friday before christmas last year ...
honestly ... this year was a real challenge but i like the way that the start of 2011 looks ...
I'm a little more rooted now ... emotionally, creatively, physically & mentally ... i've got a few projects that although they didn't get out before the year was over they are still going to be shared in the first quarter of 2011 and ... i'm excited that i'll be doing my party in LA again...
shoot a e-mail to irrelevant333@gmail.com if you are intersted in getting information about STARBLAZERS 2011: here2there ... the grammy edition! on friday, feb. 11, 2011 in LA at the VIP lounge in the KEY CLUB ...
part party ... part jam session (featuring grammy nominees & a few friends from DC & LA & everywhere! it's gonna be FUN! you should be there ... ok that's enough of that ... i'll post a flyer soon ...
anyway ...
right now i'm kinda sprung on watching rob dyrdek's fantasy factory on mtv 2 ... i dig this cats story ... he's like me (just w/ more money and not as scared ... but if i had his money i'd be little less scared!) ... he's into giving back ... worked hard and created his own thing ... his fantasy factory ... i wanna do that ... i can't front ... i really dig what he's doing ... his brand management and how he's event helped his lil cuzzo take his brand to the next level ...
this may look kinda crazy but it' all makes sense to how his lifestyle contributes to how he embodies and presents his brand!
yo ... for real ... peep his story ... i mess with this cat rob dyrdek!
and i'm adding this because ... i'm feeling like this is what i want every artist to strive to obtain. the ability to embrace a emotion ingest it and then return it to the audience in the most honest and beautiful way that you can ...
ladies and gentle man ... BETTYE LaVETTE
and because i worked the Kennedy Center Honors again this year ... it airs on dec 28th on CBS
i'm not going to say anything but ... there were some INCREDIBLE performances and bits of comedy! (if you only knew!) watch it and peep steven tyler's tribute to paul mccartney
and for a little twist ... mike vick for nfl mvp ...
i missed homecoming at WSSU last weekend and i'm missing NC a little ... i wanna share some tunes from NC peoples ...
THE BEAST ... you may have seen them on Okayplayer’s new jazz culture blog, THE REVIVALIST The Revivalist is the leading online journal for the burgeoning jazz community.it's about music innovators, musicians, and music lovers documenting and foretelling the stories of jazz and how it has influenced today’s popular music.
THE BEAST are fresh because they aren't only about music but are also educators with great engaging workshops and are about empowering people to institute change ... starting with themselves.
this cats is a hidden jewel of NC ... someone is gonna catch the vapors!
and yea ... in know this is really Miguel's song but i gotta big up NC's J.Cole ... plus miguel rocked at my STARBLAZER pre-grammy party in 08 ... good peoples/humble hella talented dude ...
in ny ... people are really interested in what's new. the new style/look. the new music. the new phone/technology. i think that has led to mentality of wanting to be young. i think many would go back being a younger age if they could. i grew up around a group of people that thought a little differently. my peoples believe in staying young at heart. doing things that make you enjoy your everyday reality. making every moment special instead of trying to live in a fantasy and partying like a rock star.
all that to say ...
at 40, i really like being older. my zest for life keeps me from being old. my community of peers me with a youthful outlook and creatively engaging life. i don't want to be young ... you can't outrun a clock ... aging is something that is going too happen ... no need to fight it ... accept it, embrace it ... make time your friend ... instead of getting old ... my goal is to become classic (a standard of excellence; historically memorable).
i want to be that older dude that all the young dudes want to be like when they get older. not that old (antiquated, out of style/fashion, discredited by reason of age) dude that is trying to be like the younger cats. i want my accomplishments in life to be the kind that people talk about and want to emulate. i want my body of work to be recognized as epic ... classic. i'm not gonna be the old cat w/ the timbs, fitted yankee cap and the velor sweatsuit talking to my friends about ... nothing. ok that's enough about that ...
JUST REMEMBER ... as i get older ... i won't get old ... i'll become CLASSIC!
on another note ... i'm a little excited ...
i took some time to catch up on some reading today ... that alone is exciting but ... specifically ... i read a few back issues of FAST COMPANY, (here's a great bit on procrastination)
when this is combined with the fact that i've also been looking at academic programs and think that i found one that really fits me so much that i'm excited about it. but a little scared at the idea of going back to school ... but i'm gonna ride that horse. (it's my way of saying overcoming the fear ... i used to be scared of horses.) now i just have to get in to school.
and in closing ... i just found out that Q tip had a video for this ... so i wanted to share it ...
this is going to be a quick blog and it may have a million and one typos because i'm making myself writ it in 10 minutes! the goal is to make sure that i write one this week! i gotta flip the process ... i think i have to do it this way ... other wise i want to think and talk about too much ... so here i go ...
last week i ran into melvin van peebles. if you don't know about him you should do the research. he's a considered the father of blaxplotation. his 3rd film, "sweetback's baadasss song" set things of in 1971 because if pulled $4 million despite the fact that it we so controversial due to its racially and socially charged matter that no one really knew what to do with it!
plus there is a sceen early in the film w/ his son, mario, that is makes you think ... "DAMN, his pops really put him in this film!" if you haven't seen the film i'm not gonna give it away.
and then there Putney Swope! he stars in it and it was directed by robert downey senior in like 1968. and is a all about a ad agency lead by the putney swope who mysteriously inherits the agency. he starts the truth and soul campaigns. the outcome is satiric genius! it pissed off a lot of people but hey ... i like it!
here are 2 clips that let you know how the movie starts ...
the first kinda sets up how things get to where they are going and the second clip is when putney starts getting busy ...
since my time is short ... that's all i have to say about that ... i'm gonna call the brother today and try to book a interview with him for www.BLACKADEMICS.com
check out the schedule ... you can get tix online ... and if you're in ny or are coming through and are interested in volunteering let me know ... weusi@hhtf.org
our first event is saturday DOUBLE TROUBLE a breakdance battle/jam ... there is a $2000 prize anad the big boys are coming from far and near to get it!
and follow us on twitter @hhtf2010 #hhtf2010 and there's a facebook page
don't think that this gangster rappin' pimp turned actor would have lost a step. he's a beast! old school! great performer! incredible control of the crowd! he pulled up in his owned (that's not a typo) candy apple red bently sports coup w/ his wife coco ... then requested fried chicken ... all dark meat! and of course his management came to request a few bottles! but then ... he gives the promoters/producers of the event a special gift ... a bottle of something special & exclusive ... ORIGINAL GANGSTER XO ... his personal brand of brandy! can u say gangster!
so ... he and the crew are backstage and he decides that he wants to go out solo and watch the opening acts. so, he nonchalantly goes to the back of the room and chills with his bottle in hand. but peep it ... it's a bottle of water because he doesn't drink! such a OG move!
so that was cool ...but the highlight of my weekend was time w/ grandmother and other family members ... I love my grandmother like ... like ... like ... words can't explain. she turned 96 on the Wednesday! (yea, I have great genes!)
In recent months her health has gone downhill. nowadays this firey 4ft 9in boss of a woman doesn't talk much. sometimes that's hard to deal with. but then are other moments when I look into her eyes she smiles back at me. I'm reminded that she's just getting older. she's not in any pain. she's said a lot more than many will ever think of saying. she doesn't have to say a thing now, unless she wants to. i'd like to think that she understands the economy of sharing words, breaths, sounds and thoughts. she's seen a lot. done a lot. she's lived through and survived a lot. she has earned the privilidge to do do those things that she is comfortable doing plus, on a selfish, egotistic note, she doen't remember a lot oh people so ... I'm happy that she recognizes who I am 1/2 the time. the other day ... she told me she was tired ... she also said that she loved me . with that, I know she's ok. and because of that, i'm ok.
she is the oldest. her mother, my great grand mother, (who went by big granny) looked to my lil granny to assist in raising the others ... aunt betsy, uncle donald, frair brown, boy baby and uncle bobby. and now the others are taking care of her since my mother is in nc and my aount is in san jose, CA and a cousin that was adopted has a family of his own in newark, nj but ... he can't come to trenton much due to some doing in his younger years. and even though people are carring for her she'll surprise them with her indepedence sometime. she likes to do things her way sometimes.
she's a strong willed, god fearing woman that married my grandfather when she was young. then some 20+ years after he passed, she remarried at the age of 75 as an example to the younger women in her church not to give up on love! she inspired many during her life time and has taught many people many lessons.
Of the many lessons she modeled for me, there are a few that I'll always remember a little more than others. Things like how there is honor and repsect in working hard ... and that you never have to give up on love. that's a choice that you make and even with that choice, love will never foresake you. love is always there. And most importantly, that believing in thing that are beyond our logic is not only ok, but it healthy and a critical tool for a healthy state of mind and survival. Ok ... this is sounding like a obituary when it's really a happy b-day statement for my lil granny ... I love you.
and that's all I got to say about that!
in fact ... I'm trying to say less so that all I'm gonna say at all!
life is a beautiful thing ... don't take if for granted ...
for real ... i wanna start this with one of the greats from the indie music scene ... DC's own kokayi ... http://qn5.com/blog/entry/audio-kokayi-roxtar-single/
oh yea ... and i'm working on the ny HIP HOP THEATER FESTIVAL www.HHTF.org *** [if you are interested in volunteering hit me at weusi@hhtf.org] ...
now ... i turned 40 a few days ago.
so ... over 300 ppl shared public digital b-day love to me via facebook. that's a lot of people! it's humbling. I know these people and they took 30 seconds to say happy birthday ... to me. some of them are close enough to me to know that I didn't really celebrate birthdays for years. not mine, or other peoples. I still don't celebrate my own. I call my parents & thank them, say prayers for friends, family, angels and ancestors that helped me through another year ... and I keep it moving.
I know ... some people are reading this and saying "he used to throw himself a b-day party!". but the truth of the matter is that there was gonna be a JUST BCUS party and since it happened the same weekend as my b-day we tagged it on as a promotional tool. I didn't care either way. I just wanted to have a succesful party. but that's not what this blog is about ... this is really about the perception of humility.
so then I read an article in fast company magazine about a dude that was "the" advertising and marketing "it" dude. he/his team made people by all kinds of stuff they didn't like, need or want cool to the world. he had some exsesttential conflict within himself and moved the majority of his team to boulder, co for a zen like transition. dude had this thing going on where he was giving keys to his cottage to people that he felt had conquered fear. they could go there and be free of fear and create as their heart and soul desired! it was hella-hella cool, but ... then the interviewer asked a few of his peoples from his past about him. they touched on how the dude left out the story of how he used to treat his employees before the move. some said he was a monster and a hella manipulative cat. the interviewer called dude back and asked him about it. dude just says something like ..."that was the old me and i'm sorry that people feel that way. i'm not ashamed or sorry for that. i understand that was the past. i like everybody. the lowest you can get ids that i barley like you. but that just means i don't deal with you. for me to dislike you would take too much of my energy." that makes sense to me ... let it go and the beat goes on ... if you have a problem with it that's your issue not mine. i did my thing int terms of coming to terms and reconciling with the wrong doings. right?
is someone showing humility when people acknowledge their b-day. more than often I would say no. it's them realizing that they just got a bunch of attention and that it would be arrogant for them to say how much they like the attention. it's like being passive agressive. but ... the answer to if it's true humility rest in the minds of the individuals being acknowledged. so answering the question for someone else is futile.
So ... all that to say ... thank you for all the love ... i'm sorry to anyone that i offended, disrespected and did wrong in the past ... i'm working on removing the ego ... and i'm preparing for something big ... (fear be gone! thank you @exittheapple)
and if you read this ... you might like this ... *** NOTE*** these song are not representative of where i am emotionally right now ... they're just tunes i like!
it's just a funny song ... but it's emotionally powered and great musical arrangements!
it reminds me of another one of my favorite songs ... this one's from betty davis ...
for real ... THANK YOU ALL FOR THE B-DAY LOVE ... I'VE LEARNED A LOT FROM MANY OF YOU OVER THE PAST YEAR(S) ...
I'LL MAKE YOU ALL PROUD THIS DECADE ... (wait until i write about turning 50!)
shine
ps ... if you really read this let me know ... my blog counter says 200,000 ppl look at this ... i don't believe it!
so this is a little disjointed and lack luster ... but i want to get back into writing on a regular basis ... so here you go ...
some people complain about both hot and cold weather ... i HATE the cold! I LOVE THE SUN. I LIKE IT HOT!
hence ... i LOVE SUMMERTIME ...
this is unquestionably my favorite season in the year!
i like the freedom that the summer brings to peoples lives. i like the idea that the summer creates a energy and openness that has people in the mindset of fun, celebrations and loving life. people literally shed layers. all those clothes!!!!
an ongoing observation within my inner circle [now with the WWW] has been about how warm weather brings out ladies necks ... and their shoulder blades, collar bones mid riffs & toes! ahhh beauty! i have some friends (male & female) that are excited that there is ... ummm ... how shall i say this ... more sun on the bosom! but me ... i'm not a big cleavage fan. too many psycho/socio/political issues that make it just about a woman being beautiful and enjoying one of the things that make her special. and i'm a fashion misfit! i'm a into anti fashion. actually i like fashion, a lot ... but abhor the shallow and ego fueled vanity that comes w/ the industry & not one to try to tell someone what they should and shouldn't wear. so i like it hot because true swagger is shown when you have to wear less clothes! i don't know how or why i even went on that tangent? anyway ...
i'm feeling focused right now. i'm getting back in my groove. i feel like the sun is about to start shining on me! the moon is full now.
and i may have said this before but it's really starting to kick in ... i'm getting tired of living from a bag. i think it's time to settle down!
i know people are asking themselves what happened while you were in rhode island?
ask don king VIP ... i drank the water! in providence there is a myth that if you drink from this one fountain that you will fall in love providence will become you new home. on my first day in providence i was thirsty and was excited to be in a place where i could drink the tap water ... so i did! it tasted great! but then don tell me about the legend. i'm not really tripping but then over the next couple of days as don introduces me to people around the city i get 3 or 4 comment like "welcome to providence! don't drink the water or you'll never leave." or i'll tell them how i like providence and they say "don't drink the water or you'll be here forever!".
BUT for real ... that's not really the reason for this shift in desires.
my experience in providence, ri was a reminder of the importance,value and power of community, family, vision/dreaming, communication and the arts. having been somewhere long enough to experience the intricate dynamic of being accepted by a community beyond the cordial, politically correct, smoking mirrors, norms and comforts of society.
it's having watched my new friends celebrate the joys of fatherhood and family.
de la soul has a lyric in the STAKES is HIGH ... "Neighborhoods are now hoods cause nobody's neighbors". it's time for me to circle up my wagons and get my neighborhood in order ... re-align my community.
i know it's been a while ... but hey ... i'm looking for a job! [anyone hiring!?!]
i'm in DC for a few weeks working on a few things before i go back to providence ... so holler at me ... and I LOST MY PHONE [again ... i think i need to write another blog about how i always get some hella deep life lesson whenever i loose my phone! ] ... please hit me with your # and stuff! PLEASE! and let me know when i can see some of my long lost DC peoples!!!
w/ my dude DON KING "VIP", jess powers and munch w/ the funny face ...
but anyway ...
life is funny ...
well ... sometimes it is ... at least the perception that others have of your life is often funny ...
this is when in get a little more serious and personal than usual (but still not too specific! ... you know i'm not invested 100% into this internet community. i still like to talk & meet people face to face ... in real life!)
anyway ...
i present myself as a positive, uplifting person ... in the eyes of others i think that people see me as something to aspire to. this isn't a source of pride for me because it's something that i feel i have a responsibility to do. i grew up in a community of people that LIVED the "each one, teach one" philosophy. i will continue to be an example of a man black man that others can look at in a positive light.
but ...
there's more to my life than what people see ... i'm more than the moving snapshots that ones eyes can see ...
for the past year i have dug a hole for myself in a bunch of ways. and right now i'm not sure what's important to me. right now ... the only unquestionable reply to this question is love & community. the other thing thing that makes me happy is music. yes
there are things & people that i love and enjoy sharing my time and energy and being with and doing stuff but ... community is what makes me happy.
but right now times are hard ... and my recent hardships are also due to my passion for community. and part of my instability is due to my love for music and my fear of entering the industry where i've seen too many people loose their love for music because of the politics and stress around working inside the belly of the beast.
it's the oxymoronic me ... that's not me ... but is me. it's what you see, what you get and what you don't see. the internal & external balance that is me.
i'm ready to settle ... not for average, but to settle in the sense that i've been a roaming gypsy for years ... i'm ready to settle down and have a physical place outside of myself that i feel is home.
my menta-physical (mental and physical) state is still not settled.
i w as reminded about my trip to paris b a old friend today. i hadn't really sat down and talked with her since my trip.
as i spoke to her i was reminded about some of the things i learned and about the changes that i had noticed in myself.
so ... just a few notes that i want to share
* take time to enjoy the day. be in the moment. it will help you to be able to learn from your past experiences and to plan for your future.
* be creative. [i think that everyone should write & sing in shower!]
* eat for more than just to nourish your body. enjoy your food. taste your food. eat slowly.
* have a theme song!: you know ... that song that you'd want to hear when you came out of a comma or even better the song that would wake you out of a comma! yea, that song!
* be aware if you are doing things because you are comfortable VS doing things that make you happy. know the difference.
* know that there is value in knowing the things that you don't like ... BUT ... when you are clear and focus on the things that you have passion for/like/love your life will reflect that!
* karma is what we make it ... too many people live in fear of karma. we all have choices and are empowered to create change. use karma to empower, not disable.
* don't dwell in the fear ... use the power of choice to transfer the energy of fear into to the power of change
that's all for now ...
and here's a little creativity ...
UNTITLED
left hand writes random notes intentionally etching on my heart marking married clouds that drip wet dreams where eye dew like sleep sits on a wrist where a hand reaches past the crest the clock chimes ...
it's over end begin start over
time
HAIKU
no matter the speed catching the light is easy try catching time ... go
***yea i know i gotta post my poems form poetry month but ... some were on my phone and i hadn't retyped them. i'll post some soon.
... AND ...
***i was reminded by my dude stuckey just how excited i am about the WORLD CUP!!!
futbol/soccer is the sport i LOVE!!!
i played for years and even coached youth one season w/ my pops while i was in high school. [i think we went to the championship and lost on kicks]
the idea that w/o using your hands and with only a ball you can not only have fun & stay fit you can also start a international exploration!
futbol was what made different cultures relevant and real to me. i remember a tournament where we played against teams from haiti, france and canada. it may ahve been the first time i really heard someone speaking another language besides english or spanish. it opened doors to my imagination and to the possibilities of where i could go and what i could do.
WORLD CUP 2010 ...
if you want little cheat sheet on who to look for ... here you go ... here you go ...
many of you know how much i love DC ... so i figured that i'd share a few sites with you ... it was hella COLD but here you go ...
this is me in the sculpture garden in DC ... i figured i'd let all my peoples in paris see how much of a influence their city has been on DC.
and this ... my beloved U STREET!
and here's a little clip of BEN'S CHILLI BOWL ...
NOW ... people are often asking me what i do and i tell them things like artist development, project management and creative consulting. people don't really get it ... here's a little clip from a production team called the penmen ... that i'm sure you will hear about them ... so ... i'm not gonna say a word ... just see the caliber of the cats i work with!
you ask what i did with that ... NOTHING!!! i can take no credit for their art. what i do is allow them to go through the process of clarifying the goals of the band, the projects they are working on, exploring ways to get maximum productivity from everyone involved, marketing & brand ideas/plans/management ... i just create space so that the artist have more space to be artist! i help them make the plan to make IT happen ... yea!
that's one of the gifts i have.
one day i'll take you into my world of community outreach ... but for now ... and until next time ...
so it's been a month since i got back into the US from paris and although i've written a few blogs i have yet to actually post anything. my bad. things are kinda crazy right now but i SHiNE ... so ... dig it.
so with that said ... i'm trying to write at least one blog a week ... i may need some help being kept on task here! call me if i start to slip ... no e-mails ... i'll ignore it to easily! i enjoy writing and want to doit more often so i am working not to fall into my old habits that may not contribute to my new mindset. so i thank you for your suport,spurring and patience!
so for this blog ...
i'm gonna talk about the past few weeks and how no one told me that i'd need time to adjust to being back here in DC. i just figured that i knew dc so i'd just jump back into the swing of things like i never left ... NOT. i still say merci a the cash register! it was one few words thast i knew how to use correctly. every now and then i say "d'accord ... d'accord" [fo sho ... fo sho; yea cool; i agree])...
it forced me to look at all the ways that the trip influenced me. and i mean more than the weight i lost by all the walking and eating less fatty & drugged up foods. it shifted how i think and how i view some things. it also reminded me of many things that i knew but had not implemented in my everyday life. to wrap it all up ...
as a child ... dreams meant fantasy NOW ... as an adult ... i see dreams as the starting point to a planning PROCESS. a process that has goals/milestones/progress markers & tangible outcomes!
and ...
that some of the things that i called freedoms had limits. and by relinquishing some of my freedoms i also empower myself to engage in new experiences instead of those same old habits
now ... for all my peoples in PARIS ... thank you again for sharing your paris with me ... and now ... welcome to my DC ...
i'm back ... and it's cold!!!
i'm gonna introduce you to my peoples and my spots in DC ... lets start w/ one of my dudes ... jabari exum of the human prophets ...
and peep his group the hueman prophets. here's the video for their song ...
the rhythm, the rebel ...
here's a little trip to the gentrified u street ...
in ben's chilli bowl!
there are reports of up to 30 inches of snow that fell in parts in parts of DC. but now ... i'm not there ... i'm in nj ... i out ran escaped the blizzard!!!
*NOTE a "mentee" asked me to swing by their school and talk to them about some issues they were having. a teacher thought that i was the students father. when i left i thought ... "damn, your ass is kinda old ... you could really be the father of high school senior."
yo ... this was what i watched while i was in NJ thinking about my peoples in DC that were really snowed in!
blacking up: http://bit.ly/aUzeWB
it has nothing to do with anything i posted but it was a good documentary. especially for youth and media education.
so i know i feel off on my blogs ... so much has happened
i'm back in DC now ...
i actually have blogs from that last week that i've started but never finished ... so now ... they are outdated so i need to go back and edit them.
the stories to tell from my last week in paris:
DON KING! in the club! shut up hoodie hood & take a walk w/ your mother. you can't get this kind in the US! the beat down! club impala is closed so ... let party across the street! "DON KING ...YOUR ARE VIP!" meeting at the 404 blade on the beat box! U street on oberkampf street in west african spot!
but for now ... i'll just drop you some pics & videos about what's been going on ...
this is my dude ... don king ... i'm not gonna tell the story yet but i will soon ... u'll see how we make it happen in the future!
these are the people that kept me busy w/ adventures and why i didn't blog that entire last week while i was in paris!
and weusi & don's angels!!!
and there were so many more ppl ... as soon as u get those pics i'll share them!
but you know what ... for now ... here ... this is a peek of the BLADE on the beat box story! this is BLADE MC, a emcee and beatbox that is incredible!!!
"mus" was kind enough to drop us at the airport ...
oh ...
and tonight i'll be writing about my return to DC ... lessons learned ... the BET HONORS ... the story ...
thank u for being patient ...
and for my peoples in paris ... i'm gonna keep blogging so that you can see how we get down in dc.
So ... what you are about to get is a piece of my mind ... this are notes from more than a week of events ... again they are going to be a little scattered and incomplete sometimes ... but hey ... who really cares ... anway ... i've got pictures on my phone but I have to wait to get them off then you'll see them!
Ok so ...
let s flash back to the 12/23/09
It's 10:12 on the east coast of america ... but i'm in paris france where it's 4:12 am
i've just come home after a 5 hr trek to and through the underground tunnels of paris!
Dopeness at ground level! And I mean ground level as in ground water. We tread through the water thanks to 6 euro knee high rubber boots and faced the darkness with 4 euro 7 LED headlamps, lit the evenings jam session with free candles from rockstar cuz's house and the most expensive part of the 5 hrs experience were the 2 hrs spent lost ... can you say PRICELESS!!!
A mini-castle, clean ground water, gargoyle heads, drunk tour guides, home made liquor from spain, graffatti, battery powered guitar amps, tags that said "goonies, we live, and fuck you", 2 gated exits, the scream, desperado beer, wet socks, egyptians, a spur of the moment thought abut beating the tour guides ass for getting us lost, the beach, a redeeming trek to the exit, violent thoughts, few funny pictures on my phone and the remembrance of a christmas eve from a labyrinth of madness like i've never experienced before.
did i mention there was some incredible art down here!?!
no these aren't my pics ... but i have almost these exact pics on my phone camera!
ok so ... these were my thoughts immediately after the experience
but then i wrote this the following day ...
it's dec 25 ... christmas day ... i'm in paris
rock star cuzs' friends, Farmer& c-rock the tea walla!, were with us in the catacombs ... and they agreed that it was all a metaphor of life.
Rock star cuz described the event as a school friend trip that went wrong! kinda like the bus breaks down and your like "yea ... the adventure goes on" then you realize "damn we need the bus to get home!"
this is how i kinda saw the experience. We go deep beneath the surface of ourselves just for the adventure sometimes. To check out what's going on. Many times we're guided by the inspiration of someone that we don't really know. sometimes it's a parable, a quote, a mantra, a book, an idea ... but, in the end we make the decision. How we implement that decision is often largely influenced by the resources that are bought to the table by those that are closest to us. If we were to design & construct a car it still wouldn't run w/o the tires. Our friends are our tires. They have their rubber on the road and allow us to move in various directions. Good tires are important to a car for many reasons. They influence how far you go on a tank of gas and can stop your progress if they aren't durable. They also deal with potholes, bad weather and have to be aware of vandals too. So ... all that to say it's important to surround ourselves with people with shared principles that we trust and that are smart, visionary, fearless, balanced, guided, hard working, loving and creative. Well those are the standards for my people-my peoples! [in retrospect ... it was late ... I was tired. But it sort of made sense!?!]
Then there was christmas ... i'm not gonna go into my anti holiday rant ... i'm turning a new leafe for 2010 ... no i'm not celebrating a bunch of stuff but I will be more involved in utilizing time away from work to gather and enjoy friends and family.
A few days later i'm graciously waylayed by my homie retta who is visiting her sister her in paris fo the holidays and I end up back at the louvre. Yea, I went before & didn't say anything. It was just one of my adventures. And I was a little pissed because they had so many egyptian artifacts there. But ... this time ...
mona lisa
the napolean room ... the decadence is plantains!
so ... a few days after that ...
I go kick it with my homegirl welela ... it was dope meal and a great convo that evolved into discussion on why brothers don't “woo” the sisters anymore. In the end it came down to a few reasons ... shift in social norms and expectations, easier access to women, increased variety, a shift in how we communicate, dissolving rites in manhood, decreased expectations in many women & as a continued to think about it ... men felt that they should get “woo'd” too. We watched a dope movie too ... well 4/5 of it was dope the cahpter that was in russian we didn't get ... cie la! Welela hella good peoples check her out!
I also connected with a film maker here in paris that did a documentary on the last poets ... it's a interesting piece because he got them all to come back together again. I'll tell you more about the film as we have more conversations. The real jewel in this connection is that this white dude educated me on the role that he and collective of other whites in paris we doing to support the black panthers but supplying them with a place to get away to if they needed. This dude is hella cool, played great jazz and & great vibe. You'll hear more about claude in the future too. Thanks baba umar for the connection!
Now ... i've been working w/ my homegirl ferricia on her creative process. Specifically on a song writing project but moreso on identifying patterns in her personality and her working process. She's hella talented! We're gonna make some things happen!
Then there is my dude romain ... i'm not even gonna let the cat out the bag w/ what we have bubblin' but ... this is MY DUDE! To be continued ...
so some of my random thoughts ... today
amethyst above me where i rain drops, watched birds fly i tell lies then fix them with truth listened to youth and made the sunshine inhaled life played pica boo w/ the moon exhaled fear and i found penny
AGAIN ... i'm reminded about how much of a gift it is that I am even here. Thank you STERLING & ROCK STAR CUZ!!! The experience has been incredible. The people. The relationships. The sun rise. The food. The conversations. The insight. The sun sets.
Make time to do nothing ... make time to enjoy silence make time to be creative make time to talk to your friends about things that make them happy (besides music, work, arts, entertainment) Make time to talk to someone about your future write down those things you don't want in your life ... cold them for a day than throw them away! Write down the things you want ... and create reminders around you that inspire you. Tell those close to you your goals and let them help you achieve them. Many of you know how I get down ... don't let your mouth get your ass in trouble! So think before you say something. If you tell me that you want stop smoking but ... and then i see you with a cigarette ... there's gonna be trouble.
I HAVE MORE WISDOM THAN INTELLIGENCE
I HAVE MORE SOCIAL THAN FISCAL WEALTH
I HAVE MORE FREEDOM THAN WORRIES!
I HAVE MORE INTEGRITY THAN PRIDE ...
i'm the world's shortest giant!
