challenges ... LOST PHONE ... reminders ... FUTBOL [this is a long ass blog!]

i know it's been a while ... but hey ... i'm looking for a job! [anyone hiring!?!]

i'm in DC for a few weeks working on a few things before i go back to providence ... so holler at me ... and I LOST MY PHONE [again ... i think i need to write another blog about how i always get some hella deep life lesson whenever i loose my phone! ] ... please hit me with your # and stuff! PLEASE! and let me know when i can see some of my long lost DC peoples!!!


speaking of DC ... check out my DC/NC peoples Yahzarah/Purple Saint James new video!!!

it's truly outrageous!

i've been busy ... getting ready for www.ProvidenceSoundSession.com

w/ my dude DON KING "VIP", jess powers and munch w/ the funny face ...




but anyway ...

life is funny ...

well ... sometimes it is ...
at least the perception that others have of your life is often funny ...

this is when in get a little more serious and personal than usual (but still not too specific! ... you know i'm not invested 100% into this internet community. i still like to talk & meet people face to face ... in real life!)

anyway ...

i present myself as a positive, uplifting person ... in the eyes of others i think that people see me as something to aspire to. this isn't a source of pride for me because it's something that i feel i have a responsibility to do. i grew up in a community of people that LIVED the "each one, teach one" philosophy. i will continue to be an example of a man black man that others can look at in a positive light.

but ...

there's more to my life than what people see ... i'm more than the moving snapshots that ones eyes can see ...

for the past year i have dug a hole for myself in a bunch of ways. and right now i'm not sure what's important to me. right now ... the only unquestionable reply to this question is love & community. the other thing thing that makes me happy is music. yes

there are things & people that i love and enjoy sharing my time and energy and being with and doing stuff but ... community is what makes me happy.

but right now times are hard ... and my recent hardships are also due to my passion for community. and part of my instability is due to my love for music and my fear of entering the industry where i've seen too many people loose their love for music because of the politics and stress around working inside the belly of the beast.

it's the oxymoronic me ... that's not me ... but is me. it's what you see, what you get and what you don't see. the internal & external balance that is me.

i'm ready to settle ... not for average, but to settle in the sense that i've been a roaming gypsy for years ... i'm ready to settle down and have a physical place outside of myself that i feel is home.

my menta-physical (mental and physical) state is still not settled.

i w as reminded about my trip to paris b a old friend today. i hadn't really sat down and talked with her since my trip.

as i spoke to her i was reminded about some of the things i learned and about the changes that i had noticed in myself.

so ... just a few notes that i want to share

* take time to enjoy the day. be in the moment. it will help you to be able to learn from your past experiences and to plan for your future.

* be creative. [i think that everyone should write & sing in shower!]

* eat for more than just to nourish your body. enjoy your food. taste your food. eat slowly.


* have a theme song!: you know ... that song that you'd want to hear when you came out of a comma or even better the song that would wake you out of a comma! yea, that song!

* be aware if you are doing things because you are comfortable VS doing things that make you happy. know the difference.

* know that there is value in knowing the things that you don't like ... BUT ... when you are clear and focus on the things that you have passion for/like/love your life will reflect that!

* karma is what we make it ... too many people live in fear of karma. we all have choices and are empowered to create change. use karma to empower, not disable.

* don't dwell in the fear ... use the power of choice to transfer the energy of fear into to the power of change

that's all for now ...


and here's a little creativity ...

UNTITLED

left hand
writes random notes
intentionally etching on my heart
marking married clouds that drip
wet dreams where eye dew like sleep sits
on a wrist where a hand reaches past the crest
the clock chimes ...

it's over
end
begin
start over

time


HAIKU

no matter the speed
catching the light is easy
try catching time ... go


***yea i know i gotta post my poems form poetry month but ... some were on my phone and i hadn't retyped them. i'll post some soon.

... AND ...

***i was reminded by my dude stuckey just how excited i am about the WORLD CUP!!!

futbol/soccer is the sport i LOVE!!!

i played for years and even coached youth one season w/ my pops while i was in high school. [i think we went to the championship and lost on kicks]

the idea that w/o using your hands and with only a ball you can not only have fun & stay fit you can also start a international exploration!

futbol was what made different cultures relevant and real to me. i remember a tournament where we played against teams from haiti, france and canada. it may ahve been the first time i really heard someone speaking another language besides english or spanish. it opened doors to my imagination and to the possibilities of where i could go and what i could do.

WORLD CUP 2010 ...




if you want little cheat sheet on who to look for ... here you go ... here you go ...



SHINE,
weusi

fights ... dc ... pacman ... washington ... getting hustled ... lil cuz

it's sunday but this is about ...

Saturday ...

after a few hrs of wondering running into a few more comic book stores & gun shops ... who would have thought) and these french cats are violent ... i personally witnessed 2 fights being broken up. one dude got knocked on his ass by the little waitress ... one to the jaw. i wonder what he did! and the other was a lady that was screaming at a dude. she said some thing and he went at her. his dude jumped in and damn near tackled him when his hand was a fist lengths from hitting her! i was w/ lil cuz so we kept it moving and talked about it for a second. she's such a wanna be G! but i bet no one EVER puts a finger on her. plus ... she has a crazy big-little olser cousin! oh anyway ...

So how I got hustled ... there was a big game on and I was looking for a spot to watch the second half. you know, just sit and have some tea. Just to be social. like i do at cafe nema some days. I find the small african spot around the corner that seems to be having some lively conversation. I go in and the waiterss tells me the bar is closed. I look up and GGGGGOOOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL! I stand and watch for a second ... now i'm caught up in the game ... I sit down and watch. The convo that they are having is loud but I have no idea what it's about in part because i'm focused on the game. Evidently some of the convo was about me! Eventually a older dude says to me. You need to order something or leave. I say i'll order. I order a beer. The older dude tells me to order some kinda food &the waitrss tries to get me to order food too. I tell her no meat. Only fish and then I say i've already eaten just a beer. a guiness for now. She's still trying to get me to order food. I order a guiness and continue to watch the game. She brings my drink. I watch the game, chat w/ dude, enjoy the game. It seems that their convo is around national loyalty versus where you live. It had something to do with the cameroon game earlier that day and the lone white dude in the spot! Then she brings out a plate of skewers ... I didn't order that! She's like yes you did. It's what he said you should order. There's a stillness in the room as I start to argue my point. I'm not gonna win in this. I share the order w/ the older dude at the table next to me. the game goes on. France wins 1-0. I ask for the check. It's $30 e! 12E for the beer and $18 e for the meal is how it was explained to me by the older dude. I start to argue then realize it's a no win situation. in the end I think I got beat out of $20e = $35 ... to watch a soccer game. As the older dude leaves. (he and his friend have a finished a bottle of black label) he thanks me for the food, tells me that he works for the cameroon embassy and to e-mail him. I ask if he's in the restaurant much. He drunkenly says that the waitress is his sister and another lady there is his big sister. There is some loud convo ... and he's reminded that he needs to go. He hands me his card and rolls out. I leave soon after that. And realive how I got hustled by the brother & sister team, damnit! and ... i'm made at myself for not being able to speak french and for not being mad at them because I love the ingenuity of my peoples!

I also realize the date nov 14 ... OHHHHH ... manny pacman pacquio vs cotto! It's late so I lay it down but set my alarm so that I can wake up and follow in on espn.com or something. So I wake up and espn.com has the blow by blow commentary! I'm enjoying the fight as I imagine pacquio do his thing! Walking through cotto's assults and returning with twice the fury! He's gonna be regarded as one of the pound for pound greatest of all times. This dude is a monster!!! I would have loved to be at a nice fight party. did you see what he did to cotto. my home girl said he looked like golum. It seems there was a lot going on in dc last night! Goodie mob w/ scarface, and a few parties, cedric the entertainer, and fight parties.

now that i'm away ... there are a few things about DC that i really appreciate.

5. U Street: it's nice to have a place that's familiar to you and you are invested in it's success and there are people, businesses and organizations that want you to be successful too. plus there is a creative energy that lives there. one that i don't think is being tapped past its juvenile stages. surface levels. and don't get me wrong ... there are those that i think are getting deep in the energy of u street but many are just being creative and not really getting intimate w/ their art forms. but i love that U street is a place where people come to be creative and support creative things!

4. the abundance of pretty women: yea ... i'm kinda used to having pretty women around me. it helps my eye for aesthetics. and it keeps me from acting a fool when a fly sister is around because in my circle that's the norm. more importantly the sisters that i interact with, help to keep me balanced and provide a certain intimacy that allows me to not be a sexual predator. [just send me a e-mail if you want to hear my philosophy on sexual and intimate energy] and it feeds my creative energy too. and they're around here ... i have yet to get in that circle ... yet.

3. chocolate city fashions: i miss the mix of washington and the DC fashions, the pinstrip suits and the sobiato gear the earthy head wraps and the thursday @ the park happy hour & then josephine's & love outfits too!

2. my crew: we're all doing a bunch of stuff here and there so we don't link much but knowing that i have access to hem is important to me. i've been in dc, ny, nc & paris over the past 15 yrs ... they've been with everywhere. i love my peoples

1. community: I think I figured out why I haven't flipped over the fact that i'm in paris!?! it's my need to be attached to a community here. I'm at fault for not learning the language but I came to do me and learn here. If you gave me a contact here and they are still looking for a call from me ... i'm here for a few more weeks ... trust me ... i'll call!

today ... i chilled ... slept ... wrote this ... started fleshing out a new creative idea, sweated bullets while i let my lil cuz cook ... she's got a lemon cake in the oven now!!!

and that's all folks ...

brillez