Monday, May 24, 2010

challenges ... LOST PHONE ... reminders ... FUTBOL [this is a long ass blog!]

i know it's been a while ... but hey ... i'm looking for a job! [anyone hiring!?!]

i'm in DC for a few weeks working on a few things before i go back to providence ... so holler at me ... and I LOST MY PHONE [again ... i think i need to write another blog about how i always get some hella deep life lesson whenever i loose my phone! ] ... please hit me with your # and stuff! PLEASE! and let me know when i can see some of my long lost DC peoples!!!

speaking of DC ... check out my DC/NC peoples Yahzarah/Purple Saint James new video!!!

it's truly outrageous!

i've been busy ... getting ready for

w/ my dude DON KING "VIP", jess powers and munch w/ the funny face ...

but anyway ...

life is funny ...

well ... sometimes it is ...
at least the perception that others have of your life is often funny ...

this is when in get a little more serious and personal than usual (but still not too specific! ... you know i'm not invested 100% into this internet community. i still like to talk & meet people face to face ... in real life!)

anyway ...

i present myself as a positive, uplifting person ... in the eyes of others i think that people see me as something to aspire to. this isn't a source of pride for me because it's something that i feel i have a responsibility to do. i grew up in a community of people that LIVED the "each one, teach one" philosophy. i will continue to be an example of a man black man that others can look at in a positive light.

but ...

there's more to my life than what people see ... i'm more than the moving snapshots that ones eyes can see ...

for the past year i have dug a hole for myself in a bunch of ways. and right now i'm not sure what's important to me. right now ... the only unquestionable reply to this question is love & community. the other thing thing that makes me happy is music. yes

there are things & people that i love and enjoy sharing my time and energy and being with and doing stuff but ... community is what makes me happy.

but right now times are hard ... and my recent hardships are also due to my passion for community. and part of my instability is due to my love for music and my fear of entering the industry where i've seen too many people loose their love for music because of the politics and stress around working inside the belly of the beast.

it's the oxymoronic me ... that's not me ... but is me. it's what you see, what you get and what you don't see. the internal & external balance that is me.

i'm ready to settle ... not for average, but to settle in the sense that i've been a roaming gypsy for years ... i'm ready to settle down and have a physical place outside of myself that i feel is home.

my menta-physical (mental and physical) state is still not settled.

i w as reminded about my trip to paris b a old friend today. i hadn't really sat down and talked with her since my trip.

as i spoke to her i was reminded about some of the things i learned and about the changes that i had noticed in myself.

so ... just a few notes that i want to share

* take time to enjoy the day. be in the moment. it will help you to be able to learn from your past experiences and to plan for your future.

* be creative. [i think that everyone should write & sing in shower!]

* eat for more than just to nourish your body. enjoy your food. taste your food. eat slowly.

* have a theme song!: you know ... that song that you'd want to hear when you came out of a comma or even better the song that would wake you out of a comma! yea, that song!

* be aware if you are doing things because you are comfortable VS doing things that make you happy. know the difference.

* know that there is value in knowing the things that you don't like ... BUT ... when you are clear and focus on the things that you have passion for/like/love your life will reflect that!

* karma is what we make it ... too many people live in fear of karma. we all have choices and are empowered to create change. use karma to empower, not disable.

* don't dwell in the fear ... use the power of choice to transfer the energy of fear into to the power of change

that's all for now ...

and here's a little creativity ...


left hand
writes random notes
intentionally etching on my heart
marking married clouds that drip
wet dreams where eye dew like sleep sits
on a wrist where a hand reaches past the crest
the clock chimes ...

it's over
start over



no matter the speed
catching the light is easy
try catching time ... go

***yea i know i gotta post my poems form poetry month but ... some were on my phone and i hadn't retyped them. i'll post some soon.

... AND ...

***i was reminded by my dude stuckey just how excited i am about the WORLD CUP!!!

futbol/soccer is the sport i LOVE!!!

i played for years and even coached youth one season w/ my pops while i was in high school. [i think we went to the championship and lost on kicks]

the idea that w/o using your hands and with only a ball you can not only have fun & stay fit you can also start a international exploration!

futbol was what made different cultures relevant and real to me. i remember a tournament where we played against teams from haiti, france and canada. it may ahve been the first time i really heard someone speaking another language besides english or spanish. it opened doors to my imagination and to the possibilities of where i could go and what i could do.

WORLD CUP 2010 ...

if you want little cheat sheet on who to look for ... here you go ... here you go ...


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