Thursday, December 24, 2009

catacombs, christmas and more

So ... what you are about to get is a piece of my mind ...
this are notes from more than a week of events ...
again they are going to be a little scattered and incomplete sometimes ... but hey ... who really cares ... anway ... i've got pictures on my phone but I have to wait to get them off then you'll see them!

Ok so ...

let s flash back to the 12/23/09

It's 10:12 on the east coast of america ... but i'm in paris france where it's 4:12 am

i've just come home after a 5 hr trek to and through the underground tunnels of paris!

Dopeness at ground level! And I mean ground level as in ground water. We tread through the water thanks to 6 euro knee high rubber boots and faced the darkness with 4 euro 7 LED headlamps, lit the evenings jam session with free candles from rockstar cuz's house and the most expensive part of the 5 hrs experience were the 2 hrs spent lost ... can you say PRICELESS!!!

A mini-castle, clean ground water, gargoyle heads, drunk tour guides, home made liquor from spain, graffatti, battery powered guitar amps, tags that said "goonies, we live, and fuck you", 2 gated exits, the scream, desperado beer, wet socks, egyptians, a spur of the moment thought abut beating the tour guides ass for getting us lost, the beach, a redeeming trek to the exit, violent thoughts, few funny pictures on my phone and the remembrance of a christmas eve from a labyrinth of madness like i've never experienced before.

did i mention there was some incredible art down here!?!

no these aren't my pics ... but i have almost these exact pics on my phone camera!

ok so ... these were my thoughts immediately after the experience

but then i wrote this the following day ...

it's dec 25 ... christmas day ... i'm in paris

rock star cuzs' friends, Farmer& c-rock the tea walla!, were with us in the catacombs ... and they agreed that it was all a metaphor of life.

Rock star cuz described the event as a school friend trip that went wrong! kinda like the bus breaks down and your like "yea ... the adventure goes on" then you realize "damn we need the bus to get home!"

this is how i kinda saw the experience. We go deep beneath the surface of ourselves just for the adventure sometimes. To check out what's going on. Many times we're guided by the inspiration of someone that we don't really know. sometimes it's a parable, a quote, a mantra, a book, an idea ... but, in the end we make the decision. How we implement that decision is often largely influenced by the resources that are bought to the table by those that are closest to us. If we were to design & construct a car it still wouldn't run w/o the tires. Our friends are our tires. They have their rubber on the road and allow us to move in various directions. Good tires are important to a car for many reasons. They influence how far you go on a tank of gas and can stop your progress if they aren't durable. They also deal with potholes, bad weather and have to be aware of vandals too. So ... all that to say it's important to surround ourselves with people with shared principles that we trust and that are smart, visionary, fearless, balanced, guided, hard working, loving and creative. Well those are the standards for my people-my peoples! [in retrospect ... it was late ... I was tired. But it sort of made sense!?!]

Then there was christmas ... i'm not gonna go into my anti holiday rant ... i'm turning a new leafe for 2010 ... no i'm not celebrating a bunch of stuff but I will be more involved in utilizing time away from work to gather and enjoy friends and family.

A few days later i'm graciously waylayed by my homie retta who is visiting her sister her in paris fo the holidays and I end up back at the louvre. Yea, I went before & didn't say anything. It was just one of my adventures. And I was a little pissed because they had so many egyptian artifacts there. But ... this time ...

mona lisa

the napolean room ... the decadence is plantains!

so ... a few days after that ...

I go kick it with my homegirl welela ...
it was dope meal and a great convo that evolved into discussion on why brothers don't “woo” the sisters anymore. In the end it came down to a few reasons ... shift in social norms and expectations, easier access to women, increased variety, a shift in how we communicate, dissolving rites in manhood, decreased expectations in many women & as a continued to think about it ... men felt that they should get “woo'd” too. We watched a dope movie too ... well 4/5 of it was dope the cahpter that was in russian we didn't get ... cie la! Welela hella good peoples check her out!

I also connected with a film maker here in paris that did a documentary on the last poets ... it's a interesting piece because he got them all to come back together again. I'll tell you more about the film as we have more conversations. The real jewel in this connection is that this white dude educated me on the role that he and collective of other whites in paris we doing to support the black panthers but supplying them with a place to get away to if they needed. This dude is hella cool, played great jazz and & great vibe. You'll hear more about claude in the future too. Thanks baba umar for the connection!

Now ... i've been working w/ my homegirl ferricia on her creative process. Specifically on a song writing project but moreso on identifying patterns in her personality and her working process. She's hella talented! We're gonna make some things happen!

Then there is my dude romain ... i'm not even gonna let the cat out the bag w/ what we have bubblin' but ... this is MY DUDE! To be continued ...

so some of my random thoughts ...

amethyst above me
where i rain drops,
watched birds fly
i tell lies then fix them with truth
listened to youth
and made the sunshine
inhaled life
played pica boo w/ the moon
exhaled fear
and i found penny

i'm reminded about how much of a gift it is that I am even here. Thank you STERLING & ROCK STAR CUZ!!! The experience has been incredible. The people. The relationships. The sun rise. The food. The conversations. The insight. The sun sets.

Make time to do nothing ...
make time to enjoy silence
make time to be creative
make time to talk to your friends about things that make them happy (besides music, work, arts, entertainment)
Make time to talk to someone about your future
write down those things you don't want in your life ... cold them for a day than throw them away!
Write down the things you want ... and create reminders around you that inspire you.
Tell those close to you your goals and let them help you achieve them. Many of you know how I get down ... don't let your mouth get your ass in trouble! So think before you say something. If you tell me that you want stop smoking but ... and then i see you with a cigarette ... there's gonna be trouble.

We gotta support each other

music ...


ok i'm fading it's 4 am


Sunday, December 20, 2009

stuff ... world, bazaar, fear, univerbal, hayti, goddis, china, mocky, washington, return

DIG IT ... i had issues w/ embedding videos in this and i don't know html enough to really look at this stuff thoroughly so i did what i could ... SOOOO
do click the link (right click into and open another window if you want)

right now ... the house is full of people and they are all talking about art and life and stuff and i'm focused on this keyboard. yes it's a little anti-social but hey ... i'm not as social as people think and i need to write this. actually ...
i took a break from writing ... and ate. and now we're going on a tour of the parisian underground!

so ... last night i'm sitting at a table of world travelers. cats are telling stories about spain, australia, new zealand, all over europe and asia, numerous countries in africa, the middle east, north, south and central america, for real ... world travelers. and who are they ... a farmer, a poet, a tattoo artist, a photographer, leathersmith and me. everyone is special and holds a sense of magic magic in their own right. the rest have long embraced their powers. i've recognized mine, but even now, i'm struggling to embrace the shine. it's a constant battle. i know i'm destine for great things but i don't feel prepared for fame or wealth at times in part because there was a time in my life where i let money guide my actions. i was a money hungry monster. now success scares me sometimes. i know the kind of success that i'm destine for is larger than "U" street. but "U" street has a great way for me to practice being successful. i know there have been some battles with self discipline that i have lost on u street. now i'm weary of bigger success at times. but hey ... i've grown and over come issues too. i tell others that far too often we focus on our losses instead of seeing all the things we've accomplished. as i write this ... i'm starting to feel pretty good about some of the things i've done. i'm feeling hella humbled right now.

random thought: i'm still trying to shake this fear thing. and ... i'm a little messed up because i realized that i am 3 weeks behind schedule on my work on getting settled back in dc. i need to redo my resume and get back into the habit of punching a clock. and a lot more. i really do think i'm superdude and i get mad at myself for having human limitations sometimes!

anyway ... i'll be back in the states soon enough. it's a daunting feeling. i feel like i'm just starting to get in the mix of things here heavy ... but now i need to start to wrap my head around my return. but i'm not ready ... yet at the same time ... i am in a space that is really different from when i left. i like the hustle but i don't need it like i thought i did. i know i need stability to move forward. i know now that i can write better than i thought i could. i know now that i often gain a lot by doing nothing. i look forward to sitting somewhere and doing nothing in DC. i wanna write more. i want to continue this blog thing. i feel connected to the art of writing now. i like it. i want to make time to do it in my life. (haha that sounds so stoic!)

recently ... i've been reminded that i work best (more, efficiently, longer, harder, smarter) when a part of a team. i'm looking for the right team. i think that i'm ready to be on a team. i've got some people around me that i feel are ready to fill the roles needed. if you're ready ... lets go! ;)

ok ... now for the fun stuff ...

on sunday i went to this holiday marketplace bazaar thingy ...

it was cool. in this nice big grand hall and it had live performances and fashion shows. it was a afri-carribean focused event that highlighted hayti.

some of the acts were ...
a hip hop artist named alibi montana (i wish i knew where he got that name from!)

mellisa laveaux ... a dope hatian/french/candian on NO FORMAT Records distributed by universal records france.

the headline was a hatian band called company creole ... i can't find any links to them so come back in a few days i'll have it!

i was there as a guest of my peoples romain & ferricia of UNIVERBAL which put out the album Enfants Soldats. i mess with these cats because they not only good people but they are also about their biz. 80% of the proceeds of the albums sales goes to an organization in the congo that is actively working against youth soldiering and re-integration. (remember to check the links!)

it was a a cool event ...

and i met this cat mike sylla ...
who has a wealth of things going on! So ... the funny thing about this dude is that we're talking and he's telling me about his art, his store, his poetry and his play and then says ... "you know queen godis!" check the video's on the link!

oh ... and the other day i met a dope jazz vocalist china moses who has a rock project in addition to this jazz project.

and in new music ...
and is that ohhhh weeeee!!!
this dude ... "mocky" is dope!!!

get on it!

and dude can actually play. peep him here with another dope dude gonzales.

another random thought: did you know that they have a different typing keyboard here in europe? and it's cool because non-typing people like me have a little advantage on people that learned how type in school because i still look at the keyboard! hahaha ... it's funny to me!

oh ... china also turned me on to this video of RAY CHARLES doing what he do, baby!
this is a christmas song sung like no other!
HINT: you may want to watch this with a significant other!

oh and i got hipped to this site

i found this there ...

only 14% of us citizens have passports ... even if you can't get t ticket anywhere right now ... get one ... JUST IN CASE!!!

i gotta learn html!

Friday, December 18, 2009

like cold, affirmation, poem, wildcookie, super viral brothers, d'joln, christ like

yo ...

i didn't even go outside today ... why? IT'S STILL TOO COLD!!!
like ... it's hella COLD!!!

ok so i wrote out the things i wanted for the winter solstice and i'm gonna make symbols visual representations of them and hang them here in the apartment ... since i don't really get down with the christmas thing (for a number of reasons this) this will be my ritual for the new year

these are the things i request of the universe ...

clarity in my personal, artistic, emotional and professional life, fearlessness and an abundant inflow of love, fiscal wealth (from multiple sources), discipline (self & assisted) and stability, in the form of a new & creative job ... in a warm place that pays me what i believe i am worth!

writing out your those things is a great exercise to do monthly.
and honestly i didn't write them out here as detailed as a did in my journal. what? u can't blame me for wanting to keep my biz my biz sometimes!

i did have a creative thought ... it's kinda a stream of thought thing but not ... but sort of ... well here it is ...

i looked up ... the sun
to my left a rainbow
my then my eyes dropped into a dream
right, you were.

i looked down and watched a tear fall
to the top of a cloud
and to my left and saw the sunset
high was the moon
right you were ... again.

but that was then ...
silence speaks
and whispers curse at my spirit in surround sound
strong arming my soul
engulfing me like a stagnant funk
clutched by a churches
voiceless stench of pious misconduct


rebounding drops of air lift me past pains threshold
here in to the reality i find myself bound
music won't free you anymore ... for free
like kunta's solo steps the dance is done
imagination lost in the math of a snowflake
and the icy crash of winter spit on concrete streets
where love is the fox maimed by the hunters and hounds

the end(i just edited it 22.12.09)

and this was the sunset today!

i also realized that i don't think i hipped you to wildcookie ...

if you think you're ready ... check out anthony mills other group super viral brothers. this video has lots of red liquid ... be ready]

and here's a little clip from the emcee i saw like 2 weeks ago ... he goes by d'joln

and yo ... don't forget ... this is the most depressing time of the year for many people ... don't take for granted that people are in a joyous holiday spirit ... or that they even celebrate or give a rats ass about the holidays!

and remember if you are giving to the community at christmas that's not being christ like ... being christ like is when you do it all the time ... all year long.
lets work on that ...

try being a kind person first ...
then try being kind to your self ...
then try being kind to other people ... JUST BCUS ...



Thursday, December 17, 2009

it's cold ...

i don't like being cold ...

i was up until early this morning writing. 9ish i lifted my head and looked out the window. it was snowing! i cringed ... then i quickly tucked my head under my covers and feel asleep for another 2hrs!

it's cold ... real cold ... it was -2 c today!
i say already that i don't like to be cold!

did i tell youthat my bed is in the "sun cove" ... whisch means is surrounded by windows ... which measns in the summer it's beautiful ... and in the winter ... the wall that i sleep next to ... is 7 floors up and COLD as (add you own explitive)!

but i'm in paris ... so i went out! ... i put on a layer of clothes for each floor i was up! and hit the streets

plus, not only will many people never have the chance to make this trip, (i heard less than 50% of US citizens have passports and only 20% off the african-american community have them! now the reasons & history behind that is another blog!)i wanted to get some food (and a baguette!)

and i think that's was really chery lynn "to be real"


who would be interested in doing a 1 week artist exchange in paris ... and then hosting a artist for week later in the summer? gig swap, work together, exhibit, do joint shows, sight see, etc ... let me know who's interested and then watch me do my thing!!!

or if you are open to hosting a artist let me know.

i said i was gonna connect the dots ... watch me ...


Wednesday, December 16, 2009

lil cuz ... some good ... some not as good!

ok ...

so lil cuz rolled out for the holidays. rockstar cuz took her to the airport. she's such a daddy lil girl ... when she can be. she's such a lil teddy bear that wants to be a big bad grizzley! but she is still hella anti-conformist balanced w/ a pop feel appeal to it. it's great how she loves to kiss and hug all over her pops! rockstar cuz was a little nervous because he seems to have a little stalker! yea like a real one. the stalker contacted his mom recently. he had to contact "the man" to file a formal complaint! evidently it's been going on for years! crazy huh! but she's ok w/ family and is more than likely talking about new moon right now! but hey ... when the acts away the mice will play SO i went to a spot called cafe le peche!

my homie ferricia hooked me up w/ this cat steeve who evidently is a highly respected cat on the scene. EVERYONE gave the dude dap! it was impressive!

le peche is out in the 20th arrondissement at the end of the line ... Montreuil

dude walks me through the cut to get to the spot. outside is decorated w/ graff.
inside there's a little cafe space and if you walk through that there is a performance space that holds about 150-200 ppl. the first thing that stood out about the space is that there was a full lighting rig. DOPEness! and the SOUND WAS GREAT!!!

so now that that was taken care of ... lets get to the talent!!!
ok ... for real ... i missed a few acts! it was too cold and i really didn't wan tot go out earlier. and i took a nap and over slept! my bad! so ...

when i got there this dude was on stage and i'm not even gonna say his name or describe him as any more than a artist that has room for improvement in his stage presentation and in his audience engagement. well actually let me take that back. no ... i won't the kids were using him as a excuse. and these youngin' were wyldin' out.

they do this thing like a mosh pit. it's fly! it was all males. i was once again reminded how the hip hop industry is not only male dominated but driven by testosterone inspired and producing music. youngin's would run up to the stage, plant their foot on the edge and push them selves back into the crowd like a stage dive. they were jumping on each others backs and being physically aggressive with each other. you cold tell that the security had good relationships w/ the youth. when they introduced their presence the crowd was still rowdy but they became more respectful of others in the room ... especially anyone that was standing near/protecting the sound and lighting systems!

then there was a dope trio of emcees ... but i have to find their name ... i'll get back at up on this .. but they smashed!

anyway ... after that they finished there was a break and i was given a tour of the facilities. they have 3 rehearsal studios with drums, amps, mixing board, mics & other backline. and it's only 10e an hr!!! you can also have the rooms set up to record for an additional fee. there were office upstairs but i don't check them out. i met the director and we talked so i will be going back to pick his brain a little.

so this cat comes on that looks like a gucci mayne and is rhyming over the lil wayne milli track from 1989 ... anyway .. evidently he was talking about the million ways he gets his swerveon w/ the ladies and the young ladies didn't like it and i actually heard some booing gong on! and because of that ... i wont mention his name either!

oh and then there was the battle ...

i have no idea what they were saying but one dude SMASHED his 2 opponents! it wasn't even funny! but after that ...


he poked his head backstage and then went right on stage and KILLED IT!!!

great crowd control ... hot songs ... great set development .. he did the damn thing!

the headline was this cat brasco ...
he did a Q & A with the youth of the center ... i missed it but they were a rowdy crowd but they were quiet while he talked!

i saw him backstage. a humble cat. grounded and it shows on stage
he ripped it!

Veuillez installer Flash Player pour lire la vidéo

after the show a few b-boys did their thing. 1 was really good b-boy. the others were more poppers & i could have battled them ... and won!

oh and the first dude tried his hand at break dancing ... he hadsome ideas formoves but he should have trained & rehearsed before he got in the dance floor!

ok now that's all i'm gonna say today ... and here's the start of the story ...

Shymel has had it rough the past couple of days ...

when he woke up it was raining!

then he missed a phone call ... the call is from CARLOS, his favorite, closest cousin, good friend & competition in life! CARLOS is a poet and musician that has just moved to paris w/ his 12 year old daughter MOON to work on his next album. he wants SHY to come to paris because it was something they used to talk about as kids. SHY has been sending e-mails w/ questions about the experience but CARLOS hasn't responded

but it gets worse ...

see shymel (SHY) heard a rumor 2 months ago that the youth center he runs was being shut down. he asked his mentor about it and she said that the rumor was false. others still said it was truth. and ...

last night he and Helen, his girlfriend of over 7 years, got into a big argument ... about marriage. he's ready for marriage. she saying he's not life or their relationship serious. he's not even preparing for a new job and that there's no way they're going to get married. in the middle of the argument CARLOS calls. he reaches to answers the phone ... she knocks the phone out his hand ... it breaks! he picks up the pieces up off the floor. when he stands up ... she throws him a pillow and a blanket at him ... couch time ... he drops and he dropped the phone again!

the next day SHY is up early for a big meeting at work. so is HELEN. she doesn't speak to him ... except on they way out the door she ask for the umbrella because she left hers at work yesterday. and then suggest that he get some mint tea, wash detergent, toothpaste, oh, and she needs some pads/tampons and a moleskin notepad for work.

of course ... it starts to rain as he walks to the bus stop now sheltered ...
while he's waiting he's says thank god that there aren't too many people under the shelter today. just then a crew of 3-6 youth on their way to school walk under the bus stop awning, in an light argument ... then one of the elementary school kids looks at SHY and says very politely ...

"excuse me sir ... tell them that you didn't have cell phones or cd's back growing up back then! and they used to watch tv on the radio ... right?"
he laughs it off ... and says that he's not "that" old but yes there was a time before cellphones, cd's and tv's when they only had radios shows that told stories like they do now on tv.

what do you think ...

And they like the shine explosion on the hand shake!!!

hbd ... i'm spreading the shine vibe & handshake international too!



Thursday, December 10, 2009

rockstar, troop, view, singing but not knowing the words!

so i didn't write much today ....

rockstar cuz and i walked and talked a bit about art, growing up, being a artist, living in paris and life in general. and yea ... i told him about yesterday! (yes the jokes are coming!)

we came up on this thrift store and look what we saw when we went inside

ok ... since everyone complained about my first little video clip of the view ... here you go ...

oh ... and had another great idea validated by the universe today ...
i'm gonna have to really regiment my writing more!

and thank you all for the feed back from my previous post. it's cool to find out who's actually reading these. all i see is the clicker and that's impressive to me! i'm like people actually look at this becasue i know my interns aren't looking at it that much! and i'm pretty sure that people that get to my page it's not by accident ... but hey ... if it is ... thank you!

and in celebration of my singing yesterday without knowing the words i want to share this with you!!!

oh and i DRESSED fearlessly today ... i just did me .. wore what i felt like wearing regardless of how i was gonna be perceived. this is a exercise in my fearless living process! wear the way you feel. i makes you evaluate how you feel and you also makes change clothes like 4 times before you leave the house! but so what ... all we have is time ... lets enjoy it and be respectful of it too. because time has us too!

and ... you know i'm not a fan of many things political ... so all i;m gonna say is peep this ...

read is here

i'm not gonna post them all but peep all. part 4 for is on some big talk! we'll see.

have a great day ... do you ... be free ... and fearless and of course ...


Wednesday, December 9, 2009

fearless, singing, pannini, showers

today was funny ...

at least it was for me!

i started it like this ...

"today ... i will be fearless ... i will write w/o fear of others response ... i will sing outloud while i walk he streets of paris ... in the rain ... and enjoy it all ... i SHiNE ... u SHiNE!"

i walked the streets of paris ...
and when i wanted to sing ... i sang!
gil scott herron, jon lucien, anthony hamilton, w. ellington felton, keith ailer, and a bunch of songs that i made up! well ... i made up half the words to the other songs too .. because i don't know the actual words!lol!

i talked to myself out loud ...
said hello to people (in french and english)
that was funny because they don't really do that while walking down the street here.

NO ... i didn't document it!

but it was a great day ...

i wrote some good stuff and had some great revelations in this story through the characters but there are still some holes in the story. i can't share it until i can fill the gaps. be patient!

then ... i stopped to get a pannini on my way home ... and that's where this story starts ...

and this sister walks in and the dudes in the there start smiling and acting really nice to her. she's cut and has hella body. they are obviously flirting. they they mention something about me being american and kind of chuckle. they continue to talk and she gets her orange soda and as she's talking to them and walking out, she looks me up and down, brushes by me uncomfortably close and says something to me. smiles and exits. i have no idea what she's said but i'm feeling it's kind of flirtatious. i'm feeling a little awkward now. the dudes in the shop laugh and then tell me she worked down a few doors down and invited me to come by. i brushed it off laughed, grabbed my sandwich and keep it movin'. i exit to go home. i make a right and see the young lady w/ her back to me. she doesn't see me. but i watch her toss a cigarette away and walking into a store front. i can's see where she works though because i'm parallel the doorway. i walk a few doors down and realize she a WORKING woman at a sex shop! she wasn't flirting w/ me ... she was trying to get some work!
how does one get propositioned by a hooker!?! i felt both cheap and my ego was stroked. damn!

so ... i'm on my way home and i see this ...

i haven't told rockstar cuz or lil cuz ... i'm not ready for the jokes!
don't get that mixed up w/ fear ... i just don't feel like it!!!

now back to writing ... this story is interesting and i like giving the characters depth but have to figure out how to make that translate in the story! this is fun though ...

ohhh ... i can't forget to say thank you to ferricia and cae (thanks tone & binajoy) for the hospitality & convo & wine & tea & home cooked spinich pie from mom & pops & couch. we hung out one night and i missed the last train and they let me, a total stranger, sleep on the couch. AND ... they let me take a shower the next morning ... in a stand up shower! AMEN! they are the greatest! i wanna visit daily now!

check cae's tunes at here ...
and ferricia here and here

and for all time ...
until next time ...


Saturday, December 5, 2009

in review ...

now ... i've been here a little over a month ...

honestly, i've shed tears and had some laughter ... all to myself.
being here w/ is rough at times but it makes me focus on me & reminds me to take my time to make sure i do things right. i'm truly enjoying the experience. i stay in the moment & engaged in the joys of life. every day is a lesson. some lessons are more challenging than others. but ... they are challenges that i make for myself, as opposed to challenges placed before me by others for their growth, prosperity and/or amusement. i like it this way! i've learned a things about myself in a variety of areas in my life.

professionally: things like the difference between how i work, how i like to work, what the ideal work situation is for me and how i perceive my work process. but ... i still haven't figured out what i see my life work to be.

personally: i'm not as honest as i claim to be. i've been telling lies to myself for a long time. i've got that i have dealt with internally but the world doesn't know about. i did more re-evaluating of the things that i knew than i realized than discovering new things about me. it's great to challenge your own beliefs. many of my beliefs stand strong. others need to evolve. i'm working on the implementation of some of these things.

artistically: i'm in a good space ... i gotta find out how to be discipline and artitic. i know i can do it but sometimes i need someone to just tell me to stop and go write or be artistic for a while ... w/o the internet! i feel great about the stories that are developing!

romantically: i've been selfish in how i approached relationships ... and i has cost me dearly. but whodini said "Guess it's better to have loved and to have lost, than to never have loved at all" ... i learned.

and hopefully i can make some changes in my life so that i can show what i've learned.

spiritually: i've implemented some things in my life that i do daily to keep me grounded and focused. but for real. this may be where i am strongest in my life.

academically: this is important not just because some say that it impacts my lifestyle and my ability to make money ... it's also important because i am working to be an example for others and there is no reason in the world that i don't have a degree! in fact ... i'd love to figure out a way that i can work on my graduate level degree while doing a portfolio for my undergrad. my life experience should handle the undergrad requirements! let me know if you have any leads.

now with all that being said. when i come back, don't trip because i'm on some weusi 5.8 type stuff! yea ... i know most cats are still working on getting to 2.0 or 3.5 but me ... i'm not most cats!

i'm starting to feel like it's ok to let the world know who i am too.

i the past it's been hidden because i wasn't always what people thought i was and my role in the community was [and still is] important to me. but now i see that it's time for me to pass the baton and now ... it's time for me to do me!

so i'm putting this on the table ... on front street ... opening my heart ... whatever you wanna call it ... yes, i've done things that i wasn't proud of.
no ... i don't regret anything. actually, for a while there was one thing i regretted but ... i feel that in the end, things will be for the better because if it were not for that particular experience or any of them, i wouldn't be here in this moment right now. my understanding of life right now is such a gift and a blessing that i wouldn't change anything for it!

the other big thing is that i've been in another country where the dominate language and culture is not the one that is native to me. there are social norms that still throw me. in part because i'm not a very social person in my personal life. i like to not be around people. for real ... i don't even like people too much ... or pets! both of them annoy me with their ignorance/stupidity sometimes! and the truth is ... i'll never be a open book to everyone. i give too much of myself in my everyday life. like the same way i know lauryn hill is really ok and just in her push back against the industry that tainted her, but i'm not gonna put myself through that turmoil!

oh and now the sade dropped the single and is officially back ...
i have request for a few more comebacks

malik b from the roots


look at shelby & ant!

and lauryn ... we just want you around ...

we're sorry ... we won't let "them/the industry" get to you!

i'll tell you about my time w/ my new friends cae & ferr later ... i'm offto the streets to sing out


Friday, December 4, 2009

the past few days ...

the past few days have been art filled!!!

i did a some good writing.
a little remix to the story and some character development ... but for real ...

it's been visual art engagement time!

today's blog goes out to MUNCH & JATI

if you don't know jati lindsey ...

he is a professional photographer based in DC but has exhibited internationally. check his site for some of his work. and this isn't the best stuff! and dude has a bunch of sites/projects he's linked to! he's not just good. he's GREAT. really top quality in his process and his product.

he even did this ... for me ...

and MUNCH ... he's my best friend ... but he's not doing the website thing ... you just gotta know how to connect w/ the mystery man known as MUNCH ... and don't ask about the nickname ... he [nor anyone in his family] will tell! anyway ...

so check it out ...

while walking ... i hit a stretch of camera shops ... and people were in there like they were having a black friday sale! it was crazy! i literally passed like 7-10 camera shops that all were bubbling with customers and hella energy!

but i was focused because i was headed to a little cafe where i like to go write. i walked past a store front that had a a photo that caught my eye. at first i walked past it ... and then thought ... why not? so, i went back to go in the space.

the photo was by francoise huguier ...

i peeped a few photos in the small storefront gallery. then saw a sign that i thought was directing people to another gallery space. then i saw someone walk through the door ... and i knew that there was more!

i went out the back door of this small space into a open courtyard that lead to another free standing building. i entered the world of polka galerie.

JATI ... you would have gone crazy dude!
GREAT photos from photographers from around the world.

i'm not gonna hit you with the long list and no ... i didn't take pictures of the pictures [that's tacky!] but here's the link to the gallery and the magazine.

but ... here's my short list ... these people had pieces that stood out to me lizzie sadin, julio bittencourts, marc riboud, ethan levitas,

ok so ... i like to go to the furthest point in a gallery and then work my way back to the front. so, as i go through the gallery and i approach the door i hear some dudes speaking english. i see a brother sitting there w/ stacks of books in front of him. i speak. he speaks. we start to talk. and it turns out its stanley green signing copies of his book black passport.
cool dude [and talib kweli's uncle]. so then i roll out ... i've got writing to do!

but then i get to my lil cafe spot and it was packed! vibe is all off ... so, what do i do? i got to more gallery's!!!

LOCUS SOLUS @ the yvon lambert gallery

there were 2 other galleries small galleries that i checked out ...
i didn't get info from one but the other was galerie xippas and they were displaying a few of the archaic abstract styled works of this cat andre' butzer.
the pics don't give the pieces justice. they are large pieces that use color and texture and there are very intimate moment in the work. i'm just open to abstract art ... and yes there are some pieces that don't resonate w/ me but i see this cats process. i picked up his artistic statement as i was leaving and i was right about this dude! i'm not gonna tell you what it said that would ruin the experience for you.

so yea a lot of art today!

and for MUNCH ... i passed about 6 eyeglass shops ... DOPENESS!!!
but i'm not gonna get into that ... hit me if you want me to find a spot and pick up something for you!!

and yesterday was art overload too ...

i went to a incredible exhibit called "WE WANT MILES" at the cite de la musique ...

i can't even think of words that can describe this incredible exhibit!!!

photos, listening stations, videos, scores, interviews, personal & professional letters and correspondences, 2 basquiat pieces and my favorite part ... there were these hand written notes and one was signed ... miles davis motherfucker ... dude was such a G!

i couldn't read any of the text that accompanied the pieces because they were all in french. so, i don't know how much it delved into his personal life. they had pics of him and his various loves and some personal pictures and items ... so i assume they talked about his abuse & drug issues. either way it was hella fresh!

while rock star cuz & i were walking to it we passed a group of elementary school kids that were singing his name as they were returning from the exhibit! yea ... it had that kind of impact on you!

oh ... and i saw mike ladd last night! he KILLED it! he mixed live music, spoken word & improvisational hosting that seemed like theater with hip hop!
when i find some more up to date stuff from him ... i'll post it.

and i know i said that i'd have pics but ... you see all these links ... i'll get some soon!

tomorrow i'll post a review of my first month in paris ... i'm warning you though ... a bunch of personal, introspective babble & stuff.


Wednesday, December 2, 2009

rants on: random thoughts ... race ... confusion ... a full moon ... in europe ...

ok so there have been a bunch of things on my mind ...

during the course of this i will be sharing some random thoughts ...
in the spirit of self determination and my personal philosophy that i create my on rules and therefore create my own world ... i will be sharing what i call "RT's" ... random thoughts. not retweet's for you twitter heads! (@weusib333)

so ... i'm trying to stay focused ... on me.

but ... a part of who i am and what makes me, me is that i give to my community/the world through my ability to connect dots and make things happen.
but ... that can, often times, be a detrimental distraction to my personal growth and progress.
but ... i need to make some money while i'm here in paris ... because these euro's have sucked me dry!!!
but ... if i start to slip back into my work mode then i have to worry about neglecting my personal and artistic growth!
but ... i am really starting to miss working ... and the hustle ... (i see them as 2 different things ... work = the act of implementing a plan; the hustle is developing the networks, realtionships, tool and resources to do the work.)

i'm a little confused ...

i'm losing focus ... but is the universe sending me a plan?

i gotta slow down again ...?

i feel like i need to work/hustle up some loot. my money is almost gone and i'm only halfway through the trip! i'm gonna be on the corner selling my body! these euro's are a beast! feel free to put $5 on it ...

so yea ... i'm really missing work & the hustle right now and don't know how to shake it.

artistically ...
the writing is coming but has hit a lull. i keep having new inspirations and new ideas to write and expand. that's cool but can be overwhelming. i feel like because i have all this time and freedom to work on these things that i have a responsibility to be developing them all! but i know i need to be pick one or two, set some goals and deadlines and focus on them.

i'm still looking for the right musical outlet too i just want a space that i feel comfortable enough to arrange & record a few things. i haven't even been singing in the shower here! (there is no shower!) but yea ... i can do music too! i was offered a partial scholarship to college but one of the stipulations was that i sing in the choir. nope ... you won't see me on stage! i had a bad stage fright experience in high school. but hey ... that's a entirely another issue that i need to work through!

RT ... i'm always amazed at the percentage of white people that are everywhere. there are so many moments where there are literlaly only between 1-5 people of color visible. then it hit me like a hammer to a hogs head! (that's a country/farm reference [rip uncle charles!]) i'm not just in paris, france ... I AM IN EUROPE! like ... where europeans come from! DAMN!

now this is amazing to me not because of my occasional race bated thoughts (many of us have them. i'm just willing to admit to it.) but it's deeper than that. there is the cultural context and the absence of one that i reference. confusing right ... so ...

it's just different for me ... not that i'm in anyway uncomfortable with white people. i'm just more comfortable with more black people around.

RT ... i paris i've observed the facial features of various nationalities. i've also noticed that because of the history of america, blacks in america don't have a look. there aren't any real traits, or combination there of that can be identified as american. i think that we are identified by recognizing that we don't look like others. we don't come from a dominate gene pool. or a "look" that's not connected in our dress/fashion.

RT ... fashion ... i like the fashion here ... no, not the TIGHT jeans ... but i don't mind it when my jeans fit. i like it when my clothes fit properly in general. i'm just not in a position to revamp my wardrobe at this very moment. soon! as i think i said before, i like a style that's plain and allows me to blend in the crowd. i want my spirit to be what makes me special. fashion is a crutch for some people.

RT ... i'm starting to see that there is too much emphasis on aesthetics here in paris. looking good is important. but only in context to feeling good.

i was introduced by a friend to a friend via a friend, via e-mail ... (isn't technology amazing!) to a sister that is writing on race and it's influence on psycho/socio/political influences of blacks in paris. i'm really excited to hear what she has to say. i'm rooted in a black consciousness ideology but feel that i have revised my understanding of my role in respect to "race relations". knowing that race is a social construct, but it has a influence on many of us in a variety of ways. i come from a cultural context that embraces blackness as point of reference for black american culture as a part of a african diaspora. even in america ... where "white folks" run things ... yea, don't get it twisted ... obama, may run washington, DC [but not DC] but depending on where you are it, doesn't mean shit that he's president .... except that someone has hope.

i gotta whole lot to say about this stuff and there are a lot of cultural, political, social, historical, personal background information that feeds this conversation so ... i'll leave it for my book or something (hmmm ... that's an idea ... maybe?) i'm sorry about that tangent. i look forward to hearing what smart & educated people say about it!

RT ... if you are around people as smart or smarter than you that are speaking about & challenging each other intellectually, you will grow. other wise ... you are wasting time!

i was told that on full moons that one should write out the things that they want in life for the next month ... here i go ...

*be able to say that i did some things everyday ... (write creatively, exercise, morning ritual)

*make 2000 euros (under the table) by booking acts/consulting on deals and a
set up a party.

*record myself doing 3 songs

*create something new

*write out what my organization would look like

*lock down my party STARBLAZER party arrangements in LA ... yea january 30th ... we'll do it again! but even bigger and better this year!

*gain clarity in my goals

*rewrite out my artistic statement

*rewrite my personal mission statement

is that a lot?
so what!

congrats on the grammy nods to ... foreign exchange & ledisi & chris bacon & mos def & common & anthony hamilton & adele & stevie wonder & maxwell & musiq & jasmine sullivane & eric roberson & india.arie & nas and the beastie boys & q-tip ... SOMEONE's gonna win!

Foreighn exchange

The Foreign Exchange - ''I Wanna Know'' from The Foreign Exchange on Vimeo.

mos def

anthony hamilton


post the joints i missed!!!

who's got a chris bacon video!?!

weusi baraka

Thursday, November 26, 2009

new moon, new vision ... new music ...

so ...

i'm in paris fool ...

i just saw this movie NEW MOON w/ lil cuz. she's a has a crush on this taylor lautner dude. who has his shirt off for 1/2 the movie. which i'm sure fueled the record breaking $72.2 million opening night! in one day! anyway ...
what up ...

i had a great day today. it was great for me because i had a break through on my writing. today i found a spot on a bench, on the channel, across from the ugliest building in paris! maybe the ugliest i've ever seen. it was a big ass vertical corrugated metal box with a 2 story smoke stack coming out the top. no windows. it was terrible but ... i sat down and started writing and what i needed to write came out today. i recognized that i'd been trying to force stuff. but this is unquestionably what i need to be writing ...

"it is the story of a man who had options. He took both right & left turns in life and did so knowing that he couldn't turn back the hands of time so he never regretted anything. he felt felt that the decisions were the right for him at that moment in his evolution so he never looked back. He loved, lost love and made love, made friends and made enemies."

i'm excited about this new direction. i like the idea of a story that includes all of these elements and a character that has enough depth that you see the complexities of life in the character and they can be shard in any setting because of the characters depth. you may love some decisions and hate others. love some actions and hate others. agree w/ some logic and others you may disagree with. yu may even hate their reasoning to do something but love what they do. and hate them afterward! it's a emotional roller coaster and what could be a real story!

the other part of this is that i feel like to day has clarified a few things for me interms of my life direction. i'm still scared to say that i'm an artist and that i need to dedicate my self to being artistic but i kinda know that i NEED to make place to create art in my life. but i'm not with being poor and without any more!!! if that means getting gig at a burger joint so that i can do it ... c'est la vie ... ok not really but i'm willing to spend a portion of my time working for someone else so that i can make great things happen in my life knowing that will touch the others in the long run. plus it will only be for a short time! anyone hiring ... hahaha ... but for real ... what up! or even better ... someone wanna be my angel patron or get me arts residency created for recovering workaholic arts administrators!)

i also recognized that i'm really willing and i HAVE to to make more sacrifices in general if i really want the growth that i say i want to happen in various areas of my life ... personal, professional, emotional, spiritual, physical, intellectual, etc! [thank you & i'm sorry: fam, friends, ex's, environment's, munch, mom, pop, aunts, uncles, ex's, nj, niambi, nik, lisandra (keep sending me stuff), ny, shawn, toy, andrea, mal, dc, rahshaan, skillz, u street, probably you, and you, and you ... etc!) and by coincidence ...

it's thanksgiving today too ... and wednesday we gathered as peoples and had dinner together ... but we do that often. we did talk about the things we're thankful for. but in general ...

i don't like holidays ... actually ... i don't like being told when i'm supposed to make a moment that was important to you, important in my life & add it as a ritual in my lifestyle. (ok ... yea at time i have issues w/ authority). plus ... i'm thankful everyday! and no one, especially not the US gov't which did so much to TRY to destroy my family & community, is gonna tell me (and/or my peoples) when i celebrate the people i love! they say they're making it easier by giving every one a day off but then they capitalize on it so much that it's often times detrimental to the individuals that they created the "holiday" for. well in my case ... they got the wrong idea ... i'm free! and i say that with love for my peoples, my freedom and a belief in truth and justice.

and i'm not a scrooge ... and just to show you i'm not crazy ... peep the video ... it is comedy!!! thanks to my mellow, my man, who you should all peep and check his art and activism ... the incredible ... josh healy

ohh ...
in 2010 gil scott heron & sade

and if you remember this album called reasonable doubts ... it had a couple tracks produced by this NC crew named roca bloc (ski) ... look out for his new collaboration ...

and fly gypsy ...

get the vodka & rum mixtape here

the other part of this trip is that i wanna connect the dots for artist and dj's in the states to venues & promoters here.i've missed a couple chances but i'm on it this weekend.

i also missed my new homie welela's performance tonight. my bad ... other duties had to be taken care of first. but we still peoples right!?!

shouts to KCH crew, sol, paris, melodie, mervin, shelli and me and u!

live your truth ...

SHiNE [brillez]

Sunday, November 22, 2009

see i am in paris ...

So it's been a real cool couple of days ...

I took a few days off to kick it but i'm still doing my morning ritual.

the morning was spent chillin' & reading. then rockstar cuz ask if i wanna go hang w/ him & lil cuz for a second. and we roll out and go meet his boy at the end of the block. he's this cool english cat w/ this artistic flair for fashion and music. he's just real cool. this great positive vibe. we walk and talk. then grab some school books for lil cuz. while walking he talks about doing a string of shows and then having to cancel a few recently because of a health issues. we stop and grab food afterwards. charlie hits us with a jokes and then pulls out this e-ray he's been carrying around and tell us why he's messed up right now due to this issue! i'm looking at the x-rays in amazement because i think that i can see something a little messed up. but hey ... i'm no doctor and he's been seeing specialist regarding the issue. anyway ... i play it off. he tells another joke and we part ways. he's gotta get some rest. real cool cat.

So later that afternoon ... my homie welela hits me on e-mail and says bobbito is spinning in paris tonight. I'm like "word"! give me the details and lets do it! She's like hit me back at 9. cool! I can't wait so get my research on and find out spinna's with him and that they are doing the 1st stevie wonderful party in paris!

Rockstar cuz and I are like yea we're going out tonight. Welela decides not to go! so rock star cuz & i try to reach out to few people because ... i'm spoiled and don't like to pay. Nothings working for me .. nor for him. We decide that we'll use the swagger/mervin technique = we'll just walk up like you're supposed to be guest. So the time comes and we get ready to roll but lil cuz to isn't in bed! She's 13 and hella responsible so it's not a issue so we're out.

We got to the venue as they were switching over from a previous event.
Rockstar cuz talks the talk and we get in. as we're walking in someone screams his name. It's bobbito. And we all walk in together!

As bobbito & spinna are setting up we're watching them break down the venue from the previous event which evidently was a seated event. as they slide the theater style seating under hidden compartments and transform hallways to coat checks i'm amazed! with the tucked away technology and hydro lifts for sections of the floor, it is UNQUESTIONABLY the dopest mid size venue i've ever been to. [la bucalana] The production dude in me is going crazy looking at it all! Then a young lady walks up to us w/ 2 glasses of champagne and welcomes us to the event. We look at each other ... ok ... uhhh ... yea ... “we're glad to be here, thank you!” More talk with them and then some industry talk between us and then ... we sit down and listen to spinna & bobbito warm up. a few minutes later the doors open to the public. And it's on ...

20 minutes later ... we find a little corner on the dance floor and i'm gone... lost in the music!

4 hrs later ... after a few pounds of sweat loss, rock star cuz says ... I wanna check on [lil cuz] ... so ... we roll out. He stops for a second break outside the venue just to cool off. I'm standing there waiting and this fly sister walks up and says something to me in french. I'm so tired that I just nod. She sees it in my eyes and pats me on my check, looks me in my eye and says "awwww." I think that was the first person in paris to flirt w/ me. i'm honored but too tired to really think about it until now ... Anyway ... the cats that threw this are called free your funk ... dope in concept and implementation. the kind of cats JUST BCUS wants to link with .. we'll see what happens.

so we go to the street to get a cab ... but guess what ... brothers can't get a cab! Even in paris! We end up walking home! We make it back and the story is over!

and for those of you that were wondering if i was really in paris ... because i didn't post any pics ... i did this ...

oh ... and i met this cat ... he's hella cool ... he's big in europe right now.
i'm a fan ... he's really about his music. really about being an artist, connect through artistic truths, making personal connections w/ people and the universe and artistic integrity ... the industry sell him as a pop star. but he's a he's a dope artist artist dude.

charlie winston

i'm going to a poetry joint this week ... i'll keep you posted!

Until next time ...

SHiNE [brillez]


Saturday, November 21, 2009

my phone is gone ... and i got work to do ...

ok ...

so i had my phone picked from my jacket pocket last night! in retrospect, i think the sister that was sitting across from me was trying to signal me that it was going down! but hey ... it is what it is and the beat goes on.

what's cool is that i was on my way to meet my new homie welela. hella cool peoples! she's a contact from my other homie kiki joi! i was a little late and when i walked into this spot, chez janou, it was empty. welela greeted me with a smile and a and hug like we'd been long lost friends! she introduced me to benji who was behind the bar. i hadn't even taken my jacket off and benji notices my shirt. he say's "cameroon?". i'm like nah ... then i realize i have my cameroon jersey on. we connect! and although i was blown from the pick pocket experience but a few deep breaths, some good convo and a glass of wine and i moved forward!

i guess the other thing that i wanna share is that i think i made some decisions recently about my life.
occasionally i describe mysel f intheis manner ...


i have decided that i am willing to give up some of my freedom to gain more fiscal wealth which i hope will in turn provide me with some new freeing experiences.

that's kinda big for me. i try to be minimal in my support for some of those things that the masses seem to support blindly. i guess you can say that i've always been a bit of a anti-conformist. it seemed to go well with my want to blend in and be apart of a community. in this moment i realize that my parent's small extended family and my positive influences from their community have created a high respect for community and a NEED for it in my life. NOW ... if i am who i say i am ... i'd challenge that need for community and try to do stuff solo for real!

*damn!!! i hate it when i think myself into situations that make more work for me!*
ok ... i gotta go wrap my head around this ... and go get a new phone!


Thursday, November 19, 2009

creativity, ritual, aesthetics, and focus ...a then a drink!!!

wow ok ...

so check it out ...

i've been everywhere ... mentally ... up down and sideways ...

creativity is out of control ... really ... out of control ... i've started a fleshing out concepts for a play (then the elbow told the pig ...) and a film (To Be named later). then on top of that, i've been doing work on getting focused about life!

so far, my favorite part of my life planning process has been writing out my morning ritual. i have disdain for ritual without reason and these "holy days" that have been commercialized to the point where they are really about helping (or hurting a economy). so for me to be invested in days of or other ritual, or regular re-occurring events they gotta have a real connection to me. like i;m not gonna take a day off just because someone said i'm supposed to. that comes from my pops having us take MLK's b-day off before it was national holiday. now i think that i make the rules! welll i guess i do. in my world. so yea ... giving yourself ritual in your life ... it's important ... for bunch of reasons. the reason i think it's most important is that makes you go through a process where you give yourself answers to why you chose to do (or not to do) something. the one thing i have in my ritual that i;m challenged by is this exercise thing! but the process has reminded me that i'm a morning person ... that likes the idea of a siesta or a nap during the day (ideally a hour or 2, sometime between 3 and 6) ... then i stay up late! "i never sleep ... cause sleep is the cousin of death." (nas) ... by the way if you're in dc ... go see nas & damien marley talk about their new project "distant relatives" at national geographic live!'s space. so yea ... have reason for your actions. but don't be lazy w/ you answer to that questions! ask yourself "why?" 3 times. and that's all about that.

So ... one of my big observations week this about the french appreciation for nice looking things. they have a eye for aesthetics. i do not. i mean when you live a place where the architecture is so poetic and incredible, with it's golden statues atop these grand building, it's history even if it is borrowed/stolen and stuff like this this you become de sensitized to ordinary artwork. it takes something super extra, extra special to move you. like when you've seen or heard a bunch of concerts/artist/photos/paintings you get a more critical sense of what you like and don't like. but that's not the point i really wanted to make (but i gave me a excuse o show some stock pictures of some of the things i've seen so far!!!)

i really wanted to talk about how the U.S. doesn't seem to get it ... all great & powerful societies had a legacy of artistic excellence. to be "powerful" doesn't mean you are a great society. the arts are one of the basis that create a society that is prosperous in all aspects. the arts provide a thought process that expands beyond the rote memorization of facts, figures, formulas and history. a government commitment to showing art in public spaces, making it a part of your education system and a part of everyday life shows its commitment to the progress of its people and shows respect for their intelligence.

and actually ... i do have a taste for personal/fashion wise aesthetics ... but i have a fear of being vain, so i down play my personal style and my want for nice things keeps. (yea ... like nice expensive things too!) i gotta steer away form it in part because it conflicts with my with for quest to just have minimal worldly possessions, and it keeps me in a humble mindset. (nobody say anything about my trainers/sneakers!) but anyway ... here it seems that culturally they appreciate the arts and artist more. so much so, that at this point their taste are so refined in certain area that they just don't care what anyone else says! for real ... everyone here is fashionable ... except me! hahaha ... like i said i'm kinda anti-fashion and my wardrobe choices are limited! but when i finish the music i think i'm gonna shop it for a indie deal and then watch the money roll in and buy a entire new wardrobe! oh .. yea ... i song. but no ... you may never hear will only be a international release, and it will be under a alias! hahaha!

and finally as i think abou tlife i've had to tackle the reality that i'm 39 and have NO stability in my life. i have more freedom than most though. i'm ready to cash in som eof that freedom for stability now and do some thing differently. now i gotta figure out what i'm gonna do differently and how!?!

damn!!! the work is just starting!!!

as you can see this new moon has me open and my mind is a million and one places at the same time.

i need a drink ... i'm headed to a party ...


Sunday, November 15, 2009

fights ... dc ... pacman ... washington ... getting hustled ... lil cuz

it's sunday but this is about ...

Saturday ...

after a few hrs of wondering running into a few more comic book stores & gun shops ... who would have thought) and these french cats are violent ... i personally witnessed 2 fights being broken up. one dude got knocked on his ass by the little waitress ... one to the jaw. i wonder what he did! and the other was a lady that was screaming at a dude. she said some thing and he went at her. his dude jumped in and damn near tackled him when his hand was a fist lengths from hitting her! i was w/ lil cuz so we kept it moving and talked about it for a second. she's such a wanna be G! but i bet no one EVER puts a finger on her. plus ... she has a crazy big-little olser cousin! oh anyway ...

So how I got hustled ... there was a big game on and I was looking for a spot to watch the second half. you know, just sit and have some tea. Just to be social. like i do at cafe nema some days. I find the small african spot around the corner that seems to be having some lively conversation. I go in and the waiterss tells me the bar is closed. I look up and GGGGGOOOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL! I stand and watch for a second ... now i'm caught up in the game ... I sit down and watch. The convo that they are having is loud but I have no idea what it's about in part because i'm focused on the game. Evidently some of the convo was about me! Eventually a older dude says to me. You need to order something or leave. I say i'll order. I order a beer. The older dude tells me to order some kinda food &the waitrss tries to get me to order food too. I tell her no meat. Only fish and then I say i've already eaten just a beer. a guiness for now. She's still trying to get me to order food. I order a guiness and continue to watch the game. She brings my drink. I watch the game, chat w/ dude, enjoy the game. It seems that their convo is around national loyalty versus where you live. It had something to do with the cameroon game earlier that day and the lone white dude in the spot! Then she brings out a plate of skewers ... I didn't order that! She's like yes you did. It's what he said you should order. There's a stillness in the room as I start to argue my point. I'm not gonna win in this. I share the order w/ the older dude at the table next to me. the game goes on. France wins 1-0. I ask for the check. It's $30 e! 12E for the beer and $18 e for the meal is how it was explained to me by the older dude. I start to argue then realize it's a no win situation. in the end I think I got beat out of $20e = $35 ... to watch a soccer game. As the older dude leaves. (he and his friend have a finished a bottle of black label) he thanks me for the food, tells me that he works for the cameroon embassy and to e-mail him. I ask if he's in the restaurant much. He drunkenly says that the waitress is his sister and another lady there is his big sister. There is some loud convo ... and he's reminded that he needs to go. He hands me his card and rolls out. I leave soon after that. And realive how I got hustled by the brother & sister team, damnit! and ... i'm made at myself for not being able to speak french and for not being mad at them because I love the ingenuity of my peoples!

I also realize the date nov 14 ... OHHHHH ... manny pacman pacquio vs cotto! It's late so I lay it down but set my alarm so that I can wake up and follow in on or something. So I wake up and has the blow by blow commentary! I'm enjoying the fight as I imagine pacquio do his thing! Walking through cotto's assults and returning with twice the fury! He's gonna be regarded as one of the pound for pound greatest of all times. This dude is a monster!!! I would have loved to be at a nice fight party. did you see what he did to cotto. my home girl said he looked like golum. It seems there was a lot going on in dc last night! Goodie mob w/ scarface, and a few parties, cedric the entertainer, and fight parties.

now that i'm away ... there are a few things about DC that i really appreciate.

5. U Street: it's nice to have a place that's familiar to you and you are invested in it's success and there are people, businesses and organizations that want you to be successful too. plus there is a creative energy that lives there. one that i don't think is being tapped past its juvenile stages. surface levels. and don't get me wrong ... there are those that i think are getting deep in the energy of u street but many are just being creative and not really getting intimate w/ their art forms. but i love that U street is a place where people come to be creative and support creative things!

4. the abundance of pretty women: yea ... i'm kinda used to having pretty women around me. it helps my eye for aesthetics. and it keeps me from acting a fool when a fly sister is around because in my circle that's the norm. more importantly the sisters that i interact with, help to keep me balanced and provide a certain intimacy that allows me to not be a sexual predator. [just send me a e-mail if you want to hear my philosophy on sexual and intimate energy] and it feeds my creative energy too. and they're around here ... i have yet to get in that circle ... yet.

3. chocolate city fashions: i miss the mix of washington and the DC fashions, the pinstrip suits and the sobiato gear the earthy head wraps and the thursday @ the park happy hour & then josephine's & love outfits too!

2. my crew: we're all doing a bunch of stuff here and there so we don't link much but knowing that i have access to hem is important to me. i've been in dc, ny, nc & paris over the past 15 yrs ... they've been with everywhere. i love my peoples

1. community: I think I figured out why I haven't flipped over the fact that i'm in paris!?! it's my need to be attached to a community here. I'm at fault for not learning the language but I came to do me and learn here. If you gave me a contact here and they are still looking for a call from me ... i'm here for a few more weeks ... trust me ... i'll call!

today ... i chilled ... slept ... wrote this ... started fleshing out a new creative idea, sweated bullets while i let my lil cuz cook ... she's got a lemon cake in the oven now!!!

and that's all folks ...


Saturday, November 14, 2009

news flash: change of plans ... home alone ...

it rained on and off to day and usually rain + cold = stay inside but ...

i'm in paris so ... when the sun came out ... i dipped out to the streets ... just in the neighorhood. no exploring ...

so i went by to get my phone but ... the shop owners are muslim and it was time for prayer ... cool ... i be back later ... prayer again ... then rain ...

at this point i saw a cute little dark thing lookin' at me from a shop that walked by almost everyday near the apartment SO ... i walked in introduced myself ... asked how much ... then she said she was a virgin ... and showed me she was ... then i did what i needed to do to leave with her! now ... she's here with me and we're home alone.

i have a few people to call but i can save these minute by calling form the land line!

i mean for real ... i don't wanna wear her out on the first day ... plus she doesn't know how i get when get into the zone ... and i may be on her for a while! i gotta pace her.

and everyone else rolled out for the night ... so ... i'm at the apartment alone tonight ... i've got no choice but to ... hit the streets tonight!

or ... finally reach out to those people friends suggested that i link with ...
if not i just sit here and write more ...

and this is already too long ... so ...

later ...


Friday, November 13, 2009

2nd friday night in paris ... my confession (read it all & don't be mad at me) ... shut up, please ...

Last week was transition week.

This week ... I am officially in my “do work on self week”
and it's a beautiful day for this! The sun is shining. It's kinda warm.
I'm in my money shirt & fresh suede puma's ... feeling a little like ... the world's shortest giant!

Now ... in the effort to be openly honest there is something I need to say ...
I haven't told everyone that my girlfriend is here ... I part because we're not really interacting. those of you that know me closely know that she's always with me ... most days she's the one I wake up to ... and she guides my day ... but, like I said, we've been disconnected since we've left the states. we're just not communicating.
but it's a lovely day today ... and in paris ... and feeling good ... and i'm doing things that make me feel good ... So ... i'm looking for a new girl ... yep, I said it ... and yes, she knows it. She's with me while I do it! So she nor you can be mad at me or call me disrespectful. if we're not synced it's not gonna happen for but so long! synced w/ someone! i need a new girlfriend!

NOW ... You really wanna know why i'm telling you this?
because this is how my day was ... So ... here's how the story goes ...

there a lot of shady little spots in my neighbor hood w/ cuties in the window. And i'm a man w/ testosterone, that chemical that creates logic inhibitors that make us likes things that have a new sparkle & shine! anyway ... I've passed a few of these spots in my explorations of the city and have even looked into a few windows. i made what seemed to me to be a "special" contact with one in particular. today made abold move. I went in and asked about prices ... while my girlfriend was there with me. She didn't say a word. She knows why i'm here and isn't gonna deny me my freedom to do what makes me happy because that's a big part of this trip for me. and to make a story that is already too long and probably has you cringing and cursing me out ... today, I met a new “temporary girlfriend.” Honesty, she's not as fly as my current girlfriend. She's not as aesthetically pleasing or smart. my old jawnt was dark black but this one has these orange undertones. she's built sturdy and has the tools to get what I need done though! she's goona communicate w/ me too. that'ssomething my girlfriend and i haven't really done in a week! SO YEA ... today ... I found a new cell phone! What? You thought I was talking about a young lady! Come on! If you know me I always refer to my cell phone as my girlfriend. HAHAHA!!!

but for real ... so this is my 2nd friday in paris. Lil cuz and I decide that we're gonna go out and grab some food. Sushi is her choice. We go around the corner to the spot that she usually goes to. I' m like nah ... on top of it being expensive it had a real corny vibe to me. So ... I was like ...lets walk ... lets explore! She was with it and we walked ... and walked ... past numerous mcdonald's ... past the “aged” asian hookers ... pst subway sandwich shop ... and we find ourselves on a street corner ... i look down it to see if there are any signs of restaurants ... I stop and look ... there are people walking on the street ... some are just chilling talking ... other strolling up & down ... but somethings not right ... then it hits me ... there are ladies every few feet and they are the ones chillin' ... the dudes are walking up and down the street trying get a trick ... so I just say ... there's nothing on this block, lets go ... at his point she notices the young girls on the corners and is like ... “ohhh yea! ummm, lets go ... weshouldn't be here!” ... so we walk ... and we walk ... past the comedy club ... past kfc ... pat the movie theater showing "THIS IS IT" ... then we find a cool little sushi spot ... we sit down and she decides that she wants to work on her french by ordering ... in my mind i'm like “ok. And I'll work on mine at the end of the meal.” ... great ... GREAT MEAL (and cheap!!!) ... she's happy ... i'm happy ... good biz ... so it's time for me to ask for the check but she wants to do it .. she gives me something to say in french that is the casual way to say check please ... i ee thewaitress behind meso i turn around ... “madame ... t'si vous si vous plait” ... I said it perfect ... no hesitation and accented w/ flavor ... the waitress looks at me stunned ... I repeat myself ... she looks through me & across the table at my lil cuz ... she's got her face on the table laughing ... she says ... “fini ... fini” (or something like that) ... she looks up at me and with a laughing smile and tells me that I told the waitress “shut your mouth, please” please... DAMN!!! she got me!!! ... I pay the check and walk out ... I try to thank her but the waitress brushes me off ... so yea ... then we walked home ... uneventfully except that i beat my lil cuz in foot race! Hahaha! yea ... 3X her age and i still have that step (but damn ... she is fast!)

and that's how I spent my 2nd friday in paris ... trust me it's gonna get more exciting.

I've come up w/ a few script ideas. you wanna know about em? maybe ... Can someone tell me the legal ramifications & copyright laws about if I can use posting the ideas in public as a ways of documenting that they are my ideas?

Oh and she asked what we were gonna do tomorrow? I guess you'll have to wait to find out ... me too!!!

ShiNE [brillez]